Has anyone been to relationship counselling? If so, do you feel you gained anything from it? Would like comments from men and women, thanks.Can anyone give me advice about relationship counselling?
Yes I have twice as a couple and once as a family.
Even though we have always had what I consider a strong marriage. Every marriage has an issue or two where it helps to get outside counselling.
It helped me because the counselor was able to be objective where neither of us could be. Even if I was wrong on an issue it was much easier to hear it from someone else than from my wife. And if I was right on an issue it was likewise easier for my wife to hear it from a third party.
Also it gave us some organization and an agenda to the issues we needed to work on.
It is important that you find someone you both feel comfortable with. That might mean talking to someone and moving on if either one of you does not feel comfortable talking with that person.Can anyone give me advice about relationship counselling?
I have been married over 40 yrs. have been to counseling by my self and with my husband.
By my self I did manage to open my eyes which every one was trying do for 35 yrs.
Five years ago we went as a couple and it made me realize what I was in and still am in due to personal reasons. we were told if you do not participate besides the conversation than you are waisting your money and time.
Do Not get me wrong about going even if it is one or several times it will make you think even if you do not follow all the way through.
Some can work on things and follow it through and some work on it but cannot follow it through for what ever the reason may be.
Than you have the ones who's never try because they never care about them self or the other person.
But again that is their choice, later for there is always later the help will come to cont. and follow through.
I always wanted to have a several people to start a club as in friends are there like the old movie called ';The fist wive club:'; where Goldie Hawn was in it and the other two actress which at this time is a slip of the tongue.
But that would take dedication of so many to help so many and help are self's
i did counciling yes...didnt help me at the time...but has helped me now.
even if it doesnt help with the marriage side of things it will help you with your own lifes questions of what you want out of life and help you work out if your marriage is worth saving or not.
good luck
I have been to counceling. The one thing my ex and I agreed on is the first councelor we went to was a quack. The second one was better. You need to feel out the councelor to see if the advice they are giving makes sense and works for you.
Nope. I solve my own problems. When the ex cheated, I kicked his *** out and divcorced him. And the problem was solved and it didn't cost me one red cent to have someone tell me what I should do.
Monday, November 21, 2011
I have a date w/a woman that was abused in her last relationship. any advice? is that what she will expect?
I have never been abusive in any of my relationships and I think that may be all she knows and cant help but think that she will not continue our relationship if I'm not mean to her...I have a date w/a woman that was abused in her last relationship. any advice? is that what she will expect?
you have to be calm and don't push her to choosing things like in a relationship or in items. It will take her a lot of time to trust you so be calm and patience.
you have to be calm and don't push her to choosing things like in a relationship or in items. It will take her a lot of time to trust you so be calm and patience.
I am currently in a long distance relatoinship a long distance relationship and currently need advice?
I need advice on stuff to talk about so that i dont become extinct. I REALLY like this gitl and would want to be with her in the future but i have to make sure that w dont get bored with ourselves before we see each other. i need helpI am currently in a long distance relatoinship a long distance relationship and currently need advice?
I am also in a long distance relationship. I am not a phone talker at all, but with him it's no problem. Since we don't have the daily face to face encounters, the phone is second best. We email and send text messages throughout the day as well. As long as you are open and honest, and get to know her better, things should be fine. Don't worry about having planned topics unless things are really strained. If they do get to be that way, try talking on the phone less and sending letters between phone calls. It takes a lot of trust and patience to be in one of these things. But if she's worth it, you have to go for it!
Hope all goes well!I am currently in a long distance relatoinship a long distance relationship and currently need advice?
Hmmm, that is an interesting question. From my experience, long distance relationships don't ususally work. I suppose what you could do to ';fan the flames'; is to send her little messages i.e., IM her, if you both have access to the internet. Phone her, send her flowers etc.
awww...how sweet.well tell her about stuffs that you do.tell her things about you.after all you rarely see each other so both of you might want some info on what's happening.
I am also in a long distance relationship. I am not a phone talker at all, but with him it's no problem. Since we don't have the daily face to face encounters, the phone is second best. We email and send text messages throughout the day as well. As long as you are open and honest, and get to know her better, things should be fine. Don't worry about having planned topics unless things are really strained. If they do get to be that way, try talking on the phone less and sending letters between phone calls. It takes a lot of trust and patience to be in one of these things. But if she's worth it, you have to go for it!
Hope all goes well!I am currently in a long distance relatoinship a long distance relationship and currently need advice?
Hmmm, that is an interesting question. From my experience, long distance relationships don't ususally work. I suppose what you could do to ';fan the flames'; is to send her little messages i.e., IM her, if you both have access to the internet. Phone her, send her flowers etc.
awww...how sweet.well tell her about stuffs that you do.tell her things about you.after all you rarely see each other so both of you might want some info on what's happening.
How can someone give advice about dating, when their own relationship is going to hell?
Well first, I notice many people stating that you learn from personal experience, but you are talking about someone that is presently in a bad relationship, so learning from retrospect really isn't possible at this early time.
It is easier to observe others from outside the relationship and be able to see the problems they might be experiencing. Giving advice to others may also be a way of helping ones self. Thinking outloud and helping others may eventually help the one giving the advice to examine their own relationship problems.
The person giving the advice is emotionally attached to their partner and there is a lot of emotional baggage to consider. When they give advice, they are looking at the outside parties with no personal involvment, so it is easier to just state facts of what they should do. Usually the recieving party doesn't follow the advice anyway, because they have emotional attachments themselves.
If you are either the giving or recieving party in this situation, take this time to really think about your relationship, and get out of it if it is bad!
To the guy who's girlfriend left after 9 years. Don't try to judge every situation on yours, and just hand out advice based on your ex's actions. If she left you after 9 years, it wasn't just the advice of someone else. She must've not been satisfied in your relationship anymore. Move on and find someone that really cares about you. Oh yeah, and maybe marry the woman before nine years passes.How can someone give advice about dating, when their own relationship is going to hell?
They're advice comes from experience itself. They've experienced what it's like to have a relationship apart. My friends say I give the best advice because I've gone through so many things that they eventually go through. Experience is always the best advice because you can explain it better. It comes from the heart the advice, not from something you heard. You were there when something bad happened. For example I could tell my friend how it felt to be heart broken, how it felt to be cheated on, and she said she was so thankful that I was there for her because no one else understood.How can someone give advice about dating, when their own relationship is going to hell?
It's easier to give advbice than take it. Someone outside looking in can tell you their opinion, good or bad, and not realize they need to take their own advice. It's easier to help everyone else fix their own probs than to deal with the harsh reality of their own. There is no fight involved in giving someone else advise. To take their own and apply it however requies confrontation and a possible bad outcome. If someone is giving you advise and don't think they should, return the ';favor'; and give them a dose of it.
not a good idea! my ex gf was listening to one of her female ';friends'; where she worked. needless to say, this ';friend'; was divorced mother of two boys. one of the boys was a complete mess (drugs, dropped out of school, etc.), in addition, she was hopping between one ';boyfriend'; after another. the guys were abusive, cheaters, who took advantage of her financially, mentally and physically!
Yet...............this woman somehow was able to ';coach'; my ex girlfriend on how to improve her love life?!
needless to say, she convinced my ex to start dating one of her ex's and dump me (someone who loved her, stood by her through countless problems, encouraged her at work, helped her at home, with her kids, etc.). Yup, this woman's advice totally screwed up my 9 year relationship with the only gf i have ever loved! so, no................................it's not a good idea! it's like asking someone who failed a driving test to teach you how to drive.
Mom,
Does it make any difference? Really?
Think about it...
I would say it is extremely likely a majority (at least in the U.S.) of people don't know they're A$$ from a hole in the ground in the first place, yet we all just love to dispense advice just the same (BTW - did anyone see the ';Sex and the City'; flick recently? Great. wasn't it?!) ...
I mean, WTF?
For real, just keep on doin' what you do.
You don't really think it makes any difference do you?
All those concerns are just that - concerns.
I wouldn't worry about it none myself.
You have a good day now.
Hey Now!
Presumably by learning from their own mistakes/problems. It's just advice though...sometimes people can give that anyway without having personal experience, just by being an impartial commentator they can give a helpful view.
They can give from experience advice. How do you know it was their fault? You have to deciede in the end the info you use it is your choice. Keep an open mind%26gt;)
You'll find that alot of times people who are looking at something from outside the box can think alot more clearly than someone that is surrounded by emotions and illogic...
You learn from those times when your relationship goes up in flames. So people give advice from what they feel at a time like that.
Maybe by past relationships. They properly have experience
Sometimes people learn from there mistakes.
barely anyone takes their own advice..so...n life's a dance, you learn as you go
some times in order to help ones self, one needs to help others. sound dumb? it does, but its true
no one can do anything except player in game .
Don'trimmel
It is easier to observe others from outside the relationship and be able to see the problems they might be experiencing. Giving advice to others may also be a way of helping ones self. Thinking outloud and helping others may eventually help the one giving the advice to examine their own relationship problems.
The person giving the advice is emotionally attached to their partner and there is a lot of emotional baggage to consider. When they give advice, they are looking at the outside parties with no personal involvment, so it is easier to just state facts of what they should do. Usually the recieving party doesn't follow the advice anyway, because they have emotional attachments themselves.
If you are either the giving or recieving party in this situation, take this time to really think about your relationship, and get out of it if it is bad!
To the guy who's girlfriend left after 9 years. Don't try to judge every situation on yours, and just hand out advice based on your ex's actions. If she left you after 9 years, it wasn't just the advice of someone else. She must've not been satisfied in your relationship anymore. Move on and find someone that really cares about you. Oh yeah, and maybe marry the woman before nine years passes.How can someone give advice about dating, when their own relationship is going to hell?
They're advice comes from experience itself. They've experienced what it's like to have a relationship apart. My friends say I give the best advice because I've gone through so many things that they eventually go through. Experience is always the best advice because you can explain it better. It comes from the heart the advice, not from something you heard. You were there when something bad happened. For example I could tell my friend how it felt to be heart broken, how it felt to be cheated on, and she said she was so thankful that I was there for her because no one else understood.How can someone give advice about dating, when their own relationship is going to hell?
It's easier to give advbice than take it. Someone outside looking in can tell you their opinion, good or bad, and not realize they need to take their own advice. It's easier to help everyone else fix their own probs than to deal with the harsh reality of their own. There is no fight involved in giving someone else advise. To take their own and apply it however requies confrontation and a possible bad outcome. If someone is giving you advise and don't think they should, return the ';favor'; and give them a dose of it.
not a good idea! my ex gf was listening to one of her female ';friends'; where she worked. needless to say, this ';friend'; was divorced mother of two boys. one of the boys was a complete mess (drugs, dropped out of school, etc.), in addition, she was hopping between one ';boyfriend'; after another. the guys were abusive, cheaters, who took advantage of her financially, mentally and physically!
Yet...............this woman somehow was able to ';coach'; my ex girlfriend on how to improve her love life?!
needless to say, she convinced my ex to start dating one of her ex's and dump me (someone who loved her, stood by her through countless problems, encouraged her at work, helped her at home, with her kids, etc.). Yup, this woman's advice totally screwed up my 9 year relationship with the only gf i have ever loved! so, no................................it's not a good idea! it's like asking someone who failed a driving test to teach you how to drive.
Mom,
Does it make any difference? Really?
Think about it...
I would say it is extremely likely a majority (at least in the U.S.) of people don't know they're A$$ from a hole in the ground in the first place, yet we all just love to dispense advice just the same (BTW - did anyone see the ';Sex and the City'; flick recently? Great. wasn't it?!) ...
I mean, WTF?
For real, just keep on doin' what you do.
You don't really think it makes any difference do you?
All those concerns are just that - concerns.
I wouldn't worry about it none myself.
You have a good day now.
Hey Now!
Presumably by learning from their own mistakes/problems. It's just advice though...sometimes people can give that anyway without having personal experience, just by being an impartial commentator they can give a helpful view.
They can give from experience advice. How do you know it was their fault? You have to deciede in the end the info you use it is your choice. Keep an open mind%26gt;)
You'll find that alot of times people who are looking at something from outside the box can think alot more clearly than someone that is surrounded by emotions and illogic...
You learn from those times when your relationship goes up in flames. So people give advice from what they feel at a time like that.
Maybe by past relationships. They properly have experience
Sometimes people learn from there mistakes.
barely anyone takes their own advice..so...n life's a dance, you learn as you go
some times in order to help ones self, one needs to help others. sound dumb? it does, but its true
no one can do anything except player in game .
Don't
Advice for first relationship?
I'm 16, this guy likes me and I like him, and I know he wants to be my boyfriend. Do you have any tips? (Besides sex and all that, I'm waiting for marriage!) But I am kind of nervous- so anything that I should know?Advice for first relationship?
Go ahead and date him! Relax, be yourself--after all, he became attracted to you being yourself, right?
Make sure to get to know him--even if you weren't friends first, a good relationship is still based on a good friendship.
Talk a lot, but not too much; it's normal to talk every day or almost every day, but not every free minute of every day. You have a life, so live it.
Make sure to go out sometimes--I wish I did more, it's become a tad bit boring just to stay in each other's houses.
And don't rush anything--enjoy the moment, but don't let it get away from you. You have plenty of time, so use it.
Oh, and don't have sex. I know you didn't want to hear it again, but believe me, that is the first way to make a guy leave you quickly, or not leave you alone at all. And when you have to break up with a sexual partner, it's that much harder.Advice for first relationship?
Know that at that age, most teenage guys will want to fool around or ';go all the way'; Make sure he shares the same values as you do, or you might be uncomfortable every time you're alone.
If you do decide to date him, have fun. Do fun couples things like going out to dinner, the movies, the beach, etc. A first relationship is always memorable and you'll probably want to remember him 20 years from now, so maybe keep a diary or something. Good luck!
good for you for waiting untill you are married!
ok advice...
em dont get too hung up on him, guys are strange (like you one mintue dont the next)
dont do anything you dont want to do (eg sex etc)
and enjoy!! he should spoil you so enjoy it!
I think thats really it! nufin too serious just have fun
good luck sweetie
I would just be yourself and have a great time. Don't worry about it and just go with the flow. I woulden't think about it to much that way when the time comes you won't be to nervous.
I hope you have alot of fun!!! : )
i suggest now to fall in any find of relation because you might be tempted to do wrong stuff(i mean sex or tempt him to do so) right now you should study and try to remain friend with him
na just keep it coool and tell him ur new 2 it. if u feel uncomfortable tell him ur nervous but agree 2 be his gfriend but take it easy if u feel nervous then ull see later if it works out or not
Just let things go slow and enjoy every moment of the time you spend together. Trust is a big thing, so be sure to keep it.
Do wait for marriage before having sex!
Go ahead and date him! Relax, be yourself--after all, he became attracted to you being yourself, right?
Make sure to get to know him--even if you weren't friends first, a good relationship is still based on a good friendship.
Talk a lot, but not too much; it's normal to talk every day or almost every day, but not every free minute of every day. You have a life, so live it.
Make sure to go out sometimes--I wish I did more, it's become a tad bit boring just to stay in each other's houses.
And don't rush anything--enjoy the moment, but don't let it get away from you. You have plenty of time, so use it.
Oh, and don't have sex. I know you didn't want to hear it again, but believe me, that is the first way to make a guy leave you quickly, or not leave you alone at all. And when you have to break up with a sexual partner, it's that much harder.Advice for first relationship?
Know that at that age, most teenage guys will want to fool around or ';go all the way'; Make sure he shares the same values as you do, or you might be uncomfortable every time you're alone.
If you do decide to date him, have fun. Do fun couples things like going out to dinner, the movies, the beach, etc. A first relationship is always memorable and you'll probably want to remember him 20 years from now, so maybe keep a diary or something. Good luck!
good for you for waiting untill you are married!
ok advice...
em dont get too hung up on him, guys are strange (like you one mintue dont the next)
dont do anything you dont want to do (eg sex etc)
and enjoy!! he should spoil you so enjoy it!
I think thats really it! nufin too serious just have fun
good luck sweetie
I would just be yourself and have a great time. Don't worry about it and just go with the flow. I woulden't think about it to much that way when the time comes you won't be to nervous.
I hope you have alot of fun!!! : )
i suggest now to fall in any find of relation because you might be tempted to do wrong stuff(i mean sex or tempt him to do so) right now you should study and try to remain friend with him
na just keep it coool and tell him ur new 2 it. if u feel uncomfortable tell him ur nervous but agree 2 be his gfriend but take it easy if u feel nervous then ull see later if it works out or not
Just let things go slow and enjoy every moment of the time you spend together. Trust is a big thing, so be sure to keep it.
Do wait for marriage before having sex!
Men - would you really be in love with this girl? Women - what would you do? (Relationship advice)?
I am a woman who was married to a man at a young age. We also have a daughter together. He cheated and we broke-up, when my daughter was 9 months old. We are seperated now, but still legally married. We now live in 2 different states. He is visiting to see our daughter and I found a video of him and his new girlfriend having extremely graphic, nasty porno-type, anal and oral s*x, and a picture of them (that was taken at a studio) in his wallet. I guess I was always hoping that we'd get back together eventually, but now I am extremely upset. I had so much in common with this man, loved him more than anybody and we had a family. My daughter is so incredibly excited to be spending time with him and I know she wants both parents to be her family and be together.
My question is: Do you think that a girl who would do that stuff after dating for a short while is just a sexual fling for this man, or could they actually have potential at a strong, loving relationship? I know men can be kinky, but at the same time I don't think they'd respect a woman like that long enough to really be serious about her due to the woman not being ';respectable'; or ';someone they could take home to mom';. ie: she must be sleezy to let him do that and while he likes it, the realtionship is just temporary.
Men: would you be long term with a girl like this?
Ladies: would you ever want to work something out with a guy that did that in the long run for your family? Would you hold on to that hope like I had been, or would you give up?
What do you think?
I am crushed. :-(Men - would you really be in love with this girl? Women - what would you do? (Relationship advice)?
I would feel crushed too but also every feeling I had for him would go out the door.
The man you married and the man he is now are two different people. It seems the man you loved is gone. This guy he's turned into is not worth being with,cheating, recording porn, being loose. I would say your worth more than that without even knowing you. Be friendly for your daughter's sake but if I were you I would attempt to open my heart to someone new; once you do you might be suprised how quickly you'll forget about him.
And just a guess his relationship with this new women is probably a passing thing they'll probably be more after her, most relationships only based on sex usually fall to an end.Men - would you really be in love with this girl? Women - what would you do? (Relationship advice)?
You dont want this to work out. Really, you dont.
I know its hard to be a single parent, but lots of people do it, and your child will turn out just fine.
If he is going off and screwing any piece of butt he can find, regardless of whether he wants a long term thing or not, you just dont want him. Give up the hope, move on, find someone thats worth your time. If I had to wager a guess, he probably put those things within your reach just to show you even more that he is done with you. A bit of salt in the wound, if you will...
I'm really sorry you had to see all that stuff. It must be painful for you:(
If it were me, I think I would file the divorce papers. You're not even divorced yet and he's making porno movies with other women. I think that's a pretty clear sign that he's not interested in coming back home. Try to maintain a respectful relationship for your daughter's sake but let your heart move on. I can't say for sure if he'll stay with this girl or move on to someone else but I think the one thing that's clear is that he's not interested in being married right now. He's sowing his wild oats and you have to let him go. I wish you the best of luck.
My question is: Do you think that a girl who would do that stuff after dating for a short while is just a sexual fling for this man, or could they actually have potential at a strong, loving relationship? I know men can be kinky, but at the same time I don't think they'd respect a woman like that long enough to really be serious about her due to the woman not being ';respectable'; or ';someone they could take home to mom';. ie: she must be sleezy to let him do that and while he likes it, the realtionship is just temporary.
Men: would you be long term with a girl like this?
Ladies: would you ever want to work something out with a guy that did that in the long run for your family? Would you hold on to that hope like I had been, or would you give up?
What do you think?
I am crushed. :-(Men - would you really be in love with this girl? Women - what would you do? (Relationship advice)?
I would feel crushed too but also every feeling I had for him would go out the door.
The man you married and the man he is now are two different people. It seems the man you loved is gone. This guy he's turned into is not worth being with,cheating, recording porn, being loose. I would say your worth more than that without even knowing you. Be friendly for your daughter's sake but if I were you I would attempt to open my heart to someone new; once you do you might be suprised how quickly you'll forget about him.
And just a guess his relationship with this new women is probably a passing thing they'll probably be more after her, most relationships only based on sex usually fall to an end.Men - would you really be in love with this girl? Women - what would you do? (Relationship advice)?
You dont want this to work out. Really, you dont.
I know its hard to be a single parent, but lots of people do it, and your child will turn out just fine.
If he is going off and screwing any piece of butt he can find, regardless of whether he wants a long term thing or not, you just dont want him. Give up the hope, move on, find someone thats worth your time. If I had to wager a guess, he probably put those things within your reach just to show you even more that he is done with you. A bit of salt in the wound, if you will...
I'm really sorry you had to see all that stuff. It must be painful for you:(
If it were me, I think I would file the divorce papers. You're not even divorced yet and he's making porno movies with other women. I think that's a pretty clear sign that he's not interested in coming back home. Try to maintain a respectful relationship for your daughter's sake but let your heart move on. I can't say for sure if he'll stay with this girl or move on to someone else but I think the one thing that's clear is that he's not interested in being married right now. He's sowing his wild oats and you have to let him go. I wish you the best of luck.
I need advice on what to do about the relationship?
My now ex and i have been together for two yeas some off and on he has a drinking problem and does not know how to treat me and can be mean. Im pregnant and we live together but just broke up he wants to fix things and i dont feel we can since we tried 5 times now and never get it right. Should i try again with him for the baby or leave things the way they are.I need advice on what to do about the relationship?
Theres never a set number of chances. I would give him a try you never know what it takes to save people. Please answer my question please. I posted it a few mins ago.I need advice on what to do about the relationship?
The only way you should take him back is if he FIXES his drinking problem. Not just saying ';i will fix it';, but actually making life changes. If you have family and friends, I would say let him suffer for awhile. You are pregnant with his child so he will have to be in your life no matter what. Tell him you care about him/love him but can't go back to the same thing and can't put your child through a situation where his parents may break up. If he loves you, he will change. Sometimes men change when they have children.
Theres never a set number of chances. I would give him a try you never know what it takes to save people. Please answer my question please. I posted it a few mins ago.I need advice on what to do about the relationship?
The only way you should take him back is if he FIXES his drinking problem. Not just saying ';i will fix it';, but actually making life changes. If you have family and friends, I would say let him suffer for awhile. You are pregnant with his child so he will have to be in your life no matter what. Tell him you care about him/love him but can't go back to the same thing and can't put your child through a situation where his parents may break up. If he loves you, he will change. Sometimes men change when they have children.
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