The Past is Ruining My Relationship. Need Advice?

My ex-boyfriend cheated last year, and now a year later he has changed and we have gotten closer than we've ever been before. Yet, the girl he cheated with just posted several pics on myspace of my ex and her hugging and during the exact time he was cheating (the date was on the photo). The sight nearly has since, traumatized me.


I wrote her asking that she take them down and if there was something I should know as far as her reasoning for posting them and she completely ignored me. Now he's upset that i'm taking this so hard and said that he will do anything to make it better including telling her to take them down imeediately.


I have been taken back by all this, everyone says don't stay with a man who cheated, but people make mistakes and its possible for them to grow/change for the better: However I now have this awful feeling that she won. I Love him, but the resentment is resurfacing. What's a stranger's take on this?The Past is Ruining My Relationship. Need Advice?
well i say leave him....if he cheated 1 he'll do it again. cuz if he can get back with you this time (after he cheated) he KNOWS he can get you back again(if he cheats again) hes just using you . i would go for it but its ur decision to love him or not





http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;鈥?/a>The Past is Ruining My Relationship. Need Advice?
Forgiveness is something you will have to master to get over this and move past it. I know it is hurtful that he cheated on you, but if you say he has changed and it sounds like you're working toward a solid relationship, you'll have to completely forgive him, and possibly ignore the other girl and resist temptation to visit her myspace page--sounds like she's trying to be hurtful.
You can get over cheating. As you can see it has actually brought you closer together. The internet can ge good as well as bad. The girld he cheated on obvioulsy still has some feelings for your boyf. But its her problem and not yours. Your boyf is over it and knows that he wants to be with you. Sometimes it takes a wopping mistake for them to ';get it';. I would hold your head high! Make sure you tell your man and let it be. she can post hundreds of pics on the net if she wants. You have him, not her. Hpe that helps! xx
It is your choice if you want to stay with him. People do change, but if he cheated once, he may do it again. So please get checked at least every 6 months for STDs.


As far as his ex...IGNORE HER! She is doing it to upset and p*ss you both off. When she sees that it doesn't bother you, she will move on. Also, you can not change the past. Learn to live with it.
You said in your own words that your relationship was better than it had ever been. Maybe it was that very fling that showed to him how special you are and how much he really cares for you. This girl is trying to cause trouble, you have said the photo's are old. my suggestion is if your happy and love this guy, don't go to the site she is posting it on, out of sight is out of mind....best of luck to you both, I think he is worth the time....
Don't go back to her myspace page. You should not have asked her to take them down. Now she will leave them up longer out of spite because she knows it bothers you. The best thing to do is ignore her and continue on with your life as if she doesn't exist. She will eventually take them down.





She's like a troll. If you don't feed it, it will go away.
I hate to say this to you, but your resentment will never fully go away. You will always have those feelings of insecurity in the pit of your stomach.





I went through this and eventually had to break it off with him agter THREE years together.





If there is no trust, there is no relationship.
i am going to tell you something that will probably get you upset ...





once an cheater always a cheater...





he might have changed for alittle bit but then after a while he do it again and you'll get hurt more then ever if it happenes to you again when you thought that person had changed for the better





just be careful with him





good luck
you should just ignore her you shouldn't have got in contact with her in the first place shes childish. why was you on her myspace....??..? if you had fully forgive him you wouldn't still be checking up.





don't let your bf talk to her that's just giving her what she wants attention.


you have your man you win!!!!!
I agree with your friends, and people don't change. They might at first, but, sooner or later, they revert back to the old person they were. If you can't handle his cheating, then it's time to move on
dont take him back. all i kan say is a leopard never changes its spots.
he is just not the end of world to u!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


look around n u'll find a much much better person than him
based on my own experiences with men, if they cheat once, they will most likely do it again. maybe you have one that won't. if you do, he is one in a million! yes it is possible for anyone to change. sounds like his ex is just trying to rub this in your face. don't let it get to you. that is exactly what she wants! if you really like this guy, take some pics of you two together %26amp; post them so she can see that you two are together %26amp; that is how it is! eventually she may give up %26amp; move on.
The reasoning behind not staying with a cheater goes farther than ';punishing'; the cheater, but also to save your conscience. If you aren't able to fully accept it and move on, it will eat at you, and it will breed resentment and hatred in you if you stick around but aren't moving on past it.





But in this situation, assuming that the guy has been squeaky clean is beyond yours and his control. The girl, though pretty insensitive, has absolutely no obligation to respect your wishes. And your boyfriend can't force her to do that either. And it's not fair for you to let this hurt the relationship because neither of you can control it.





If you aren't able to come to terms with the reality of it, and understand that your boyfriend is (hopefully) trying to be the best he can, then you need to sever the relationship because it won't get better if you can't deal with it. It's not fair to anyone, you nor him.
This guy cheated on you and then u say he has changed much. I say stay with him. Of course if he doesn't talk to this other girl about taking the pics down, then u leave him. If he tells the girl to take the pics down, this shows that he wants to be with you and no longer has feelings for the other girl, but if he doesn't, he still has feelings for this other girl. So just wait for him to do this and then you'll see ur answer.
Well I know its hard to forgive someone who cheated you, and that were just humans and we can make some errors. If he says he'll do anything to make it better, and if you trust him, just trust him. But make sure you keep an eye on him, and use your head not only your heart, cuz we can forgive someone, but that doesnt mean we can erase what happened. So if that girl doesnt put down the pics, just hit her in the face and make her feel miserable!! Or just hack her myspace....





Wish you luck, Albert
My ex's ex posts all these journal entries about how in love she still is with my ex and how he loves her and all these completley out of proportion that logically I know are not true, but at the same time, I cant help but wonder if hes telling me the whole story. I can completely relate to your resentment (and I also believe in giving people a second chance).





I think your best bet is to just ignore it and trust that your boy is doing the right thing, its the risk you take with taking back someone whos made a mistake. Just try to rise above it and see how petty she is being :)