Hi friends, need your help.
Serious help needed!
I am 21 years old, and was dating a 24 year old guy. We both are from Delhi (India), and have same religion (Sikh). We both started dating in September’07. Things were great till December’07; we both loved each other, deeply. We shared a very good, strong relationship %26amp; were physically involved too, but on mutual basis.
But then suddenly, around in December’07 I could feel that he had started avoiding me a little. He started avoiding my messages, would reply after three messages that I would send, would not take all my calls, would take the third or the fourth call, and would hung up saying, he’s been real busy with work. Initially I thought he might have been busy, but then later, it got on my nerves.
Then on my constant asking and pestering him, he told me that he wants to end all of this, he said he is not comfortable being in this relationship. I was totally moved by this saying. And then later, in a about a week’s time, when I kept on asking him, what made him take this decision; he told me that he could never marry me.
His family is totally anti-love marriage (reason being, one of his first cousin’s was recently murdered by his wife after six months of their love marriage), so because of this, the family is in a state of shock and would never accept love marriage again. He said he could feel, that both of us have been getting serious in this relationship, day by day, but he sees no future to it. So, to avoid hurting me in the end, he wanted to call it off.
He said he respects me, and hence did not wish to hurt me further, or fake anything and go around and date for the short run. He was sure, that he can not give me any commitment. Even tough he loved me to bitts, but going against his family for him, was something not possible. So, ending terms was the only way out. But then, he again left the situation on me, saying that though he wants to be with me, because he loves me, but he can’t give me commitment, so if I still want to continue with him, he is all ready. I though a little that time, and than concluded, that we can try, as it is, he is not getting married before 2010, so I thought, that things might change by then.
So, we got back to normal terms that time. Though, being normal was not all normal that time. He was usually upset and not comfortable. He always had a fear in mind, that we can never get married, and obviously we were forever moving on to a serious platform. So he was usually hesitant about it. But things were moving on like this, a little slow, but kind of okay-ish.
Then suddenly, one day something struck me, and I just messaged him saying, that did he always loved me and met me for lust! I asked him, if he was always lusting for me. And after a few hours, he simply replied back saying “yes, it was just that” ! I got totally pissed with it. I was dumbstruck. I could not believe it, and I replied back with a very sad and an ugly looking message. I broke terms with him, n abused him to the heights, (as in- abused in the message), I did not talk to him in person. But he did not say anything in return. He did not even try to give me any clarification, and nor did he abuse me back. He took it, as I said.
And then two days later, I just realized, that he might have accepted my doubt, because, that I ways I would break all terms with him and feel a little better, rather than he breaking terms with me. Because no guy on the face of earth would ever accept that he was only lusting at the girl, and secondly so easily. He made no move to prove himself right at that moment. I felt, probably I was wrong. Then to see how things were with me, he asked his best friend to give me a call and find out, (though, he himself did not make a call), and later, in 2-3 days, we got back to normal talking terms.
Yet again, we were again, but I knew he wasn’t so comfortable with the situations. He always remained upset. I too was way too upset. So, last week, I messaged him saying, that I leave everything on you today. I said, if you want to continue, let’s start all over again, but if you want to end terms so it be. I said I trust you and your decisions and whatever you say today would be my command. He replied back saying, that he respects me and my feelings, but as a matter of fact, he cannot give me long term commitment, he cannot go against his family. He said, if I still want to continue, he is still ready for it. Then I replied him back saying, that being with him is a gamble for me, and not for him, but I am ready to play this gamble all my life. I said I can try and wait all my life for your commitment because I know he loves me, but I said, you have to play it fair. I said, you cannot feel un-comfortable all the time, and cannot stay in the hiding. I said, it’s okay if u don’t give me commitment but at least don’t run away from it. I said, I can play the gamble, but if u think u can play it fair, then tell me. He then replied back saying, that lets leave it den. He cannot continue that ways, it was really awesome being with you and be in touch... And all that!
I cried and weeped after this, but then realized, this was probably our destiny. And I decided to not try to get in touch with him ever again. His relationship status on orkut suddenly changed to committed the immediate day after this. Previously, I also had deleted him from my orkut account (when that lusting issue happened), but , after all this I sent him a friends request again, saying that I am adding you only to retain an old friend, add me u wish to. For five days, neither did he add me or reject my approval. Just yesterday after five days, he rejected my friend’s approval (I know, he got online on orkut at least 25 times before that, I could see him replying other people). In the meanwhile, day before yesterday, he again made his best friend call me up, just to check out things at my end (of-course, the best friend did not say that he’s asked him to call, but I could make that out). Because, this guy never calls me otherwise, its always, when we fight or end up, this guy gives me a call just to check out things.
And then, yesterday in the evening, my boyfriend messaged me and asked me if I could catch him up, (I had just not kept in touch with him since Friday, I was totally out of touch, because he called me up on Friday and he was feeling really low that time, he said n asked me why do I send him such sarcastic messages, he said he feels really bad about them, so I promised him that time, that I would never do that ever again. So, I did not). So after his message, I said I could meet him up in half an hour’s time, so then later he said no, he doesn’t have time to wait. (He was actually outside my work-place and thought I would be there too, but I was at home, which he wasn’t aware of). Anyhow, we did not meet up.
Now, I don’t know what to do. I am in a state of dilemma. Don’t know, if I should let go him, or get in touch with him, and try to get him back. I know he loves me; he is doing all this because he loves me, but I don’t know what to do. I know he is not committed; he changed his status just to convey that message to me, so that I can abuse him and forget him. If he is not interested in me anymore, why did he make his friend call me up, to check out, how am I doing? Why did he message me yesterday? Or was he just playing around when he messaged? If he had to not accept my friends request on orkut, what took him five days to decide? He could have done it on the first day also. If he got committed immediately the next day of we calling it off, when I messaged him the first time, he could have told me that time also, that he has someone else, why did he give me another option to be with him?
Friends, you know the entire situation now, why do you think he’s behaving like this? Did he ever love me? Or was he always faking it? Does he still love me? Do u think, his love is worth waiting for? Shall I forget him and come over him? Or shall I wait for a while there, set him free? Or shall I keep on getting in touch with him? Shall I take his best friends help to find out what is happening? (Though I don’t know, if his friend would be loyal enough n not go back to my boyfriend and tell him, that I have been asking about him). What should I do? Did he ever love and cared for me? Does he still have anything for me? Why did he even message me yesterday? Shall I wait for him to message me yet again? Or shall I take an initiative this time to call/message him and ask him to catch up? Please friend, tell me what shall I do? This situation is realllly killing! Please guys, I need some serious help.
Thanks to all of u in advance, but please, give me serious answers.Make/break relationship..SINCERE ADVICE PLEASE.sorry for the longest question :(but SERIOUS ADVICE ASAP,URGENT
i wish i cold help!!
Don't give him your full heart until you have his!!Make/break relationship..SINCERE ADVICE PLEASE.sorry for the longest question :(but SERIOUS ADVICE ASAP,URGENT
Don't overanalyse this....Men are not such complex creatures and whatever his family wanted if he truly loved you he would be with you no matter what happened. It seems like he is just not that into you anymore....Sorry if that hurts you. Try taking back the power by simply not being so needy and stop asking and pestering him. That is the one sure way to make someone stop being attracted to you. Just leave him be and if he really does love you he will come back...
It seems like this guy is taking you for granted, he only comes around once and awhile on HIS terms. You should not wait on this guy, you are worth so much more than THIS. Get out of this situation, and break ALL contact. Find yourself someone who REALLY cares about you. Don't settle for anything but THAT.
i think you should leave him because if he cant marry u, then were is the relationship going? you will never get to marry and just be boyfriend and girlfriend for the rest of your life.
Oh Dear, I beleive moving forward with your own life and education may be best. He could be making excuses, he may be gay? At best why not spare yourself this indignity. Time now to think only of yourself.
You need to RUN................ If you have had this much drama in 7Mo. you are not destined to have great things. SORRY.....................
i dont want to read it.
I'm sorry, your message is so long and complicated that I've lost track of where you %26amp; your boyfriend are. But, if I am understanding you correctly, I think you should quit wasting your
valuable time with him and find a new relationship that makes you HAPPY. If you break up and get back together over and over and over again, it will just not work in the long run. Too many trust issues, family issues, and I honestly believe that there is a good possibility that your physical relationship may be one of the main reasons he's with you. I'm not from India and have been raised much differently from you, so I may be wrong, but fundamentally there are good and bad relationships and I think he will not totally commit to you. I'm sorry. Don't talk to him or even read his texts, go cold turkey.
right......
I think this guy does care for you but his family commitments come first, i do understand a little bit about arranged marriges and i know for a fact he will not marry you. Be carefull you could end up being the other woman and i dont think you want to live the rest of your life like that.
Do you ever have a conversation in person? it all sounds like text messages, you cannot read someones face in a txt it aint personal enough.
I am in love myself and i know if someone asked me to forget him i wouldnt able to but where is your future with this guy? No matter what happens at least 2 people are gonna get hurt, leave now to minimise destruction, cry for a week hurt for a month and feel lonley for 3 month, but in the long run it will be worth it
good luck
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Relationship problem? advice please.?
I always seem to get into these little spats with my boyfriend. I don鈥檛 know why but one minute I鈥檓 happy then the slightest thing he says can turn my mood upside down and i just blow it out of proportion. Then once im down i feel like i can鈥檛 just be happy again, i have to get mad鈥?sulk and be sad even if its a small thing. My boyfriend doesn鈥檛 understand why i get this way, i don鈥檛 even understand it but he just trys to win me back to happiness鈥ut sometimes i just can鈥檛 be happy. i just have to sulk for awhile until he feels shitty for putting me in this position even when its not his fault. Then I later always realize how stupid and wrong it is of me to even sulk or get mad over nothing and i start feeling guilty and sad for making my boyfriend sad/worry about me. And once I say sorry everything is better again鈥?and the cycle continues. I really don鈥檛 know why i put myself through this. i always just make things harder for me and my boyfriend. I don鈥檛 want it to be harder on us just sometimes my emotions go crazy and i can鈥檛 help but feel mad or sad or passive agressive. I don鈥檛 know.
What can i do to prevent this? is there something wrong with me or our relationship that causes me to act this way? I need advice.
Thanks.
Relationship problem? advice please.?
omg im going thru the same exact thing... i really need help as well.
He tries so hard to make me happy but my anger i guess just gets the best of me... then later i feel so bad. but then it happens all over again...
i'll be watching for answers..
good luck!neutrogena
What can i do to prevent this? is there something wrong with me or our relationship that causes me to act this way? I need advice.
Thanks.
Relationship problem? advice please.?
omg im going thru the same exact thing... i really need help as well.
He tries so hard to make me happy but my anger i guess just gets the best of me... then later i feel so bad. but then it happens all over again...
i'll be watching for answers..
good luck!
Make/break relationship..SINCERE ADVICE PLEASE.sorry for the longest question :(but SERIOUS ADVICE ASAP,URGENT
Hi friends, need your help.
Serious help needed!
I am 21 years old, and was dating a 24 year old guy. We both are from Delhi (India), and have same religion (Sikh). We both started dating in September’07. Things were great till December’07; we both loved each other, deeply. We shared a very good, strong relationship %26amp; were physically involved too, but on mutual basis.
But then suddenly, around in December’07 I could feel that he had started avoiding me a little. He started avoiding my messages, would reply after three messages that I would send, would not take all my calls, would take the third or the fourth call, and would hung up saying, he’s been real busy with work. Initially I thought he might have been busy, but then later, it got on my nerves.
Then on my constant asking and pestering him, he told me that he wants to end all of this, he said he is not comfortable being in this relationship. I was totally moved by this saying. And then later, in a about a week’s time, when I kept on asking him, what made him take this decision; he told me that he could never marry me.
His family is totally anti-love marriage (reason being, one of his first cousin’s was recently murdered by his wife after six months of their love marriage), so because of this, the family is in a state of shock and would never accept love marriage again. He said he could feel, that both of us have been getting serious in this relationship, day by day, but he sees no future to it. So, to avoid hurting me in the end, he wanted to call it off.
He said he respects me, and hence did not wish to hurt me further, or fake anything and go around and date for the short run. He was sure, that he can not give me any commitment. Even tough he loved me to bitts, but going against his family for him, was something not possible. So, ending terms was the only way out. But then, he again left the situation on me, saying that though he wants to be with me, because he loves me, but he can’t give me commitment, so if I still want to continue with him, he is all ready. I though a little that time, and than concluded, that we can try, as it is, he is not getting married before 2010, so I thought, that things might change by then.
So, we got back to normal terms that time. Though, being normal was not all normal that time. He was usually upset and not comfortable. He always had a fear in mind, that we can never get married, and obviously we were forever moving on to a serious platform. So he was usually hesitant about it. But things were moving on like this, a little slow, but kind of okay-ish.
Then suddenly, one day something struck me, and I just messaged him saying, that did he always loved me and met me for lust! I asked him, if he was always lusting for me. And after a few hours, he simply replied back saying “yes, it was just that” ! I got totally pissed with it. I was dumbstruck. I could not believe it, and I replied back with a very sad and an ugly looking message. I broke terms with him, n abused him to the heights, (as in- abused in the message), I did not talk to him in person. But he did not say anything in return. He did not even try to give me any clarification, and nor did he abuse me back. He took it, as I said.
And then two days later, I just realized, that he might have accepted my doubt, because, that I ways I would break all terms with him and feel a little better, rather than he breaking terms with me. Because no guy on the face of earth would ever accept that he was only lusting at the girl, and secondly so easily. He made no move to prove himself right at that moment. I felt, probably I was wrong. Then to see how things were with me, he asked his best friend to give me a call and find out, (though, he himself did not make a call), and later, in 2-3 days, we got back to normal talking terms.
Yet again, we were again, but I knew he wasn’t so comfortable with the situations. He always remained upset. I too was way too upset. So, last week, I messaged him saying, that I leave everything on you today. I said, if you want to continue, let’s start all over again, but if you want to end terms so it be. I said I trust you and your decisions and whatever you say today would be my command. He replied back saying, that he respects me and my feelings, but as a matter of fact, he cannot give me long term commitment, he cannot go against his family. He said, if I still want to continue, he is still ready for it. Then I replied him back saying, that being with him is a gamble for me, and not for him, but I am ready to play this gamble all my life. I said I can try and wait all my life for your commitment because I know he loves me, but I said, you have to play it fair. I said, you cannot feel un-comfortable all the time, and cannot stay in the hiding. I said, it’s okay if u don’t give me commitment but at least don’t run away from it. I said, I can play the gamble, but if u think u can play it fair, then tell me. He then replied back saying, that lets leave it den. He cannot continue that ways, it was really awesome being with you and be in touch... And all that!
I cried and weeped after this, but then realized, this was probably our destiny. And I decided to not try to get in touch with him ever again. His relationship status on orkut suddenly changed to committed the immediate day after this. Previously, I also had deleted him from my orkut account (when that lusting issue happened), but , after all this I sent him a friends request again, saying that I am adding you only to retain an old friend, add me u wish to. For five days, neither did he add me or reject my approval. Just yesterday after five days, he rejected my friend’s approval (I know, he got online on orkut at least 25 times before that, I could see him replying other people). In the meanwhile, day before yesterday, he again made his best friend call me up, just to check out things at my end (of-course, the best friend did not say that he’s asked him to call, but I could make that out). Because, this guy never calls me otherwise, its always, when we fight or end up, this guy gives me a call just to check out things.
And then, yesterday in the evening, my boyfriend messaged me and asked me if I could catch him up, (I had just not kept in touch with him since Friday, I was totally out of touch, because he called me up on Friday and he was feeling really low that time, he said n asked me why do I send him such sarcastic messages, he said he feels really bad about them, so I promised him that time, that I would never do that ever again. So, I did not). So after his message, I said I could meet him up in half an hour’s time, so then later he said no, he doesn’t have time to wait. (He was actually outside my work-place and thought I would be there too, but I was at home, which he wasn’t aware of). Anyhow, we did not meet up.
Now, I don’t know what to do. I am in a state of dilemma. Don’t know, if I should let go him, or get in touch with him, and try to get him back. I know he loves me; he is doing all this because he loves me, but I don’t know what to do. I know he is not committed; he changed his status just to convey that message to me, so that I can abuse him and forget him. If he is not interested in me anymore, why did he make his friend call me up, to check out, how am I doing? Why did he message me yesterday? Or was he just playing around when he messaged? If he had to not accept my friends request on orkut, what took him five days to decide? He could have done it on the first day also. If he got committed immediately the next day of we calling it off, when I messaged him the first time, he could have told me that time also, that he has someone else, why did he give me another option to be with him?
Friends, you know the entire situation now, why do you think he’s behaving like this? Did he ever love me? Or was he always faking it? Does he still love me? Do u think, his love is worth waiting for? Shall I forget him and come over him? Or shall I wait for a while there, set him free? Or shall I keep on getting in touch with him? Shall I take his best friends help to find out what is happening? (Though I don’t know, if his friend would be loyal enough n not go back to my boyfriend and tell him, that I have been asking about him). What should I do? Did he ever love and cared for me? Does he still have anything for me? Why did he even message me yesterday? Shall I wait for him to message me yet again? Or shall I take an initiative this time to call/message him and ask him to catch up? Please friend, tell me what shall I do? This situation is realllly killing! Please guys, I need some serious help.
Thanks to all of u in advance, but please, give me serious answers.Make/break relationship..SINCERE ADVICE PLEASE.sorry for the longest question :(but SERIOUS ADVICE ASAP,URGENT
This is one very very complicated relationship. To tell the truth, I can imagine well, how confused you are and I would like to help you with advice, but I am not sure at all if I can tell something that can be useful to you.
If I was you... I would give up on him only with one condition - if he didn't love me. In any other way, I would fight for my love. He is insecure too, so maybe he needs not doubts, but encouragement from you and support, to remain strong and be able to believe everything is possible for you two.
Could he maybe introduce you to his family, only as a friend, just saying you have the same hobby, or something, so they wouldn't suspect anything? For his family could learn to know you and to like you, if you wouldn't be just a strange girl for them, but they knew you, maybe love marriage wouldn't seem to them so dangerous?
Time heals. So it will heal the wounds that cause the death of their relative, who has been killed. Maybe with time they won't react so strong on that. And you don't have to show them all your affection and deep crazy feelings, stay calm and even-tempered, so they could see, that you two can take reasonable decisions and take good responsibility for your lives and take care of each other.
Good luck and don't lose hope. Love hurts sometimes, but it is still amazing.
PS.To add a few things for those, who so surely say that this man doesn't love her. Life is not always black and white. All of us have our own fears and weaknesses. And as much as I know, for hindu's family has very big and deep meaning, so if he didn't obey, we don't know what would happen. Would it be so easy for any of you, who dare to blame the guy, chose between your family and a person that you love, when in one case you will for sure lose one?Make/break relationship..SINCERE ADVICE PLEASE.sorry for the longest question :(but SERIOUS ADVICE ASAP,URGENT
You can ask this question 100 different ways but it's pretty simple. you're wasting your time. this guy is very immature and is not ready for a relationship. he doesn't love you - if he did he would have stood up to his family a long time ago. When a man loves you, he will move mountains. move on sister
You slept together. He does not want you anymore (probably because you won't shut up). Get over it. Find someone else.
Do you honestly think that someone wants to sit and read all of this? Shorten it a little then ask again. You will get more answers that way.
Are there CliffNotes?
THIS TO LONG
There will never be anything but heartache in pursuing this. He has made it clear that he must obey his family. That means one thing, he chooses to obey his family regardless of what he feels about you or you feel about him. None of the other questions matter because of this. If you love someone, you will choose that someone over all else, including your family. He has made his choice and he has told you so.
You must move on and find another form of happiness. There will never be any happiness in this situation. It sounds like he would be willing to keep you on for his secret sexual pleasures, but that is all he will ever give you. Can you live with that? You may say you can now, but i guarantee you won't be happy being his concubine for the rest of your life.
YOU NEED TO LEAVE THIS MAN ALONE, IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU ARE STALKING HIM AND THAT IS AGAINST THE LAW..
HE HAS MADE HIS POSITION VERY CLEAR TO YOU, I GOT IT FROM WHAT YOU HAVE WRITTEN SO WHY HAVEN'T YOU?
LEAVE THIS MAN ALONE AND MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE.. YOU ONLY KNEW HIM FOR THREE MONTHS BEFORE HE BROKE THINGS OFF WITH YOU, AND YET YOU KEEP CONTINUING TO HARASS HIM AND HE KEEPS TELLING YOU OVER AND OVER THAT HE WILL NEVER COMMIT TO YOU....
DO YOU HAVE A LOW SELF ESTEEM THAT YOU WOULD PERSIST IN PUTTING YOURSELF THROUGH ALL OF THIS TORTURE...
YOU NEED TO SPEAK WITH A COUNSELOR TO TEACH YOU HOW TO NOT BE SO NEEDY WITHIN A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME AND ALSO LEARN HOW TO LET GO OF SOMEONE WHEN THEY TELL YOU NO, THE RELATIONSHIP MUST END AND WILL NOT GO ANY WHERE..
HOW DO YOU THINK YOUR FAMILY WOULD FEEL IF THEY KNEW HOW YOU ARE CARRYING ON CHASING THIS MAN.. THIS I'M CERTAIN WOULD DISHONOR YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY...
SO STOP THIS INSANITY. FOR YOUR OWN SAKE, FOR THE SAKE OF THIS MAN YOU ARE HARASSING AND FOR YOUR FAMILY.....
DO YOU WISH TO BE SHUNNED BY YOUR FAMILY BY YOUR BEHAVIOR?
I am an American woman, and it sounds like perhaps you are from India? Or at least, have an Indian background? Am I correct?
I think I am understanding that your boyfriend loves you, but his family does not approve of ';love marriages,'; and therefore has arranged for his marriage to someone he does not love.
I think you need to move on from this man. He has toyed with your heart for too long.
The only way you should go back to him is if he is willing to stand up to his family and introduce you as the love of his life, the one he wants to marry. If he cannot do this, then he is not worthy of you. You need to find someone willing to do anything for you...even marry you despite how his family feels.
Now, I understand that I may be answering you from a very American point of view. I would be interested for you in getting an answer from someone who has the same cultural background as you.
Again, from my point of view, I say move on. Certainly there is a man out there for you who will love you no matter what, and be with you no matter what. That's what you deserve.
There are too many problems in your relationship.
Between family expectations, religious beliefs, and the cultural expectations, you have even more problems than the normal person experiences.
Try to look into the future and see that a marriage just doesn't have much of a chance to succeed when there are so many problems while you are dating.
Your relationship may have felt ';right'; to you at one time, but now it is all wrong. There can never be happiness for the two of you together. You should put an end to this for both of your sakes.
His love is not as deep as your love for him.
He does not respect you enough to tell his parents of his love.
He misses you enough to stay in contact, check on you, and even to ask you to accept that he will not marry you...but only wants to have relations with no committment.
';We shared a very good, strong relationship %26amp; were physically involved too, but on mutual basis.';
It was strong for you, but not for him.
He is using you.
I would suggest that you move on.
Look, this guy does not value the relationship he has with you. He is trying to manipulate you into accepting a lust relationshi with him with no commitment, and I know this is not what respecting you is about. He sounds like a whimp who hides behind his family for the things he says and does. He is blaiming his family when in fact it is he who does not want a committed relationship with you. I am not saying that it is not true his family is against this relationship, what I am saying is that he is using this as a convenient excuse to use you for sex. This guy sounds like trouble and will never in anyway love you the way you want to be loved.
Serious help needed!
I am 21 years old, and was dating a 24 year old guy. We both are from Delhi (India), and have same religion (Sikh). We both started dating in September’07. Things were great till December’07; we both loved each other, deeply. We shared a very good, strong relationship %26amp; were physically involved too, but on mutual basis.
But then suddenly, around in December’07 I could feel that he had started avoiding me a little. He started avoiding my messages, would reply after three messages that I would send, would not take all my calls, would take the third or the fourth call, and would hung up saying, he’s been real busy with work. Initially I thought he might have been busy, but then later, it got on my nerves.
Then on my constant asking and pestering him, he told me that he wants to end all of this, he said he is not comfortable being in this relationship. I was totally moved by this saying. And then later, in a about a week’s time, when I kept on asking him, what made him take this decision; he told me that he could never marry me.
His family is totally anti-love marriage (reason being, one of his first cousin’s was recently murdered by his wife after six months of their love marriage), so because of this, the family is in a state of shock and would never accept love marriage again. He said he could feel, that both of us have been getting serious in this relationship, day by day, but he sees no future to it. So, to avoid hurting me in the end, he wanted to call it off.
He said he respects me, and hence did not wish to hurt me further, or fake anything and go around and date for the short run. He was sure, that he can not give me any commitment. Even tough he loved me to bitts, but going against his family for him, was something not possible. So, ending terms was the only way out. But then, he again left the situation on me, saying that though he wants to be with me, because he loves me, but he can’t give me commitment, so if I still want to continue with him, he is all ready. I though a little that time, and than concluded, that we can try, as it is, he is not getting married before 2010, so I thought, that things might change by then.
So, we got back to normal terms that time. Though, being normal was not all normal that time. He was usually upset and not comfortable. He always had a fear in mind, that we can never get married, and obviously we were forever moving on to a serious platform. So he was usually hesitant about it. But things were moving on like this, a little slow, but kind of okay-ish.
Then suddenly, one day something struck me, and I just messaged him saying, that did he always loved me and met me for lust! I asked him, if he was always lusting for me. And after a few hours, he simply replied back saying “yes, it was just that” ! I got totally pissed with it. I was dumbstruck. I could not believe it, and I replied back with a very sad and an ugly looking message. I broke terms with him, n abused him to the heights, (as in- abused in the message), I did not talk to him in person. But he did not say anything in return. He did not even try to give me any clarification, and nor did he abuse me back. He took it, as I said.
And then two days later, I just realized, that he might have accepted my doubt, because, that I ways I would break all terms with him and feel a little better, rather than he breaking terms with me. Because no guy on the face of earth would ever accept that he was only lusting at the girl, and secondly so easily. He made no move to prove himself right at that moment. I felt, probably I was wrong. Then to see how things were with me, he asked his best friend to give me a call and find out, (though, he himself did not make a call), and later, in 2-3 days, we got back to normal talking terms.
Yet again, we were again, but I knew he wasn’t so comfortable with the situations. He always remained upset. I too was way too upset. So, last week, I messaged him saying, that I leave everything on you today. I said, if you want to continue, let’s start all over again, but if you want to end terms so it be. I said I trust you and your decisions and whatever you say today would be my command. He replied back saying, that he respects me and my feelings, but as a matter of fact, he cannot give me long term commitment, he cannot go against his family. He said, if I still want to continue, he is still ready for it. Then I replied him back saying, that being with him is a gamble for me, and not for him, but I am ready to play this gamble all my life. I said I can try and wait all my life for your commitment because I know he loves me, but I said, you have to play it fair. I said, you cannot feel un-comfortable all the time, and cannot stay in the hiding. I said, it’s okay if u don’t give me commitment but at least don’t run away from it. I said, I can play the gamble, but if u think u can play it fair, then tell me. He then replied back saying, that lets leave it den. He cannot continue that ways, it was really awesome being with you and be in touch... And all that!
I cried and weeped after this, but then realized, this was probably our destiny. And I decided to not try to get in touch with him ever again. His relationship status on orkut suddenly changed to committed the immediate day after this. Previously, I also had deleted him from my orkut account (when that lusting issue happened), but , after all this I sent him a friends request again, saying that I am adding you only to retain an old friend, add me u wish to. For five days, neither did he add me or reject my approval. Just yesterday after five days, he rejected my friend’s approval (I know, he got online on orkut at least 25 times before that, I could see him replying other people). In the meanwhile, day before yesterday, he again made his best friend call me up, just to check out things at my end (of-course, the best friend did not say that he’s asked him to call, but I could make that out). Because, this guy never calls me otherwise, its always, when we fight or end up, this guy gives me a call just to check out things.
And then, yesterday in the evening, my boyfriend messaged me and asked me if I could catch him up, (I had just not kept in touch with him since Friday, I was totally out of touch, because he called me up on Friday and he was feeling really low that time, he said n asked me why do I send him such sarcastic messages, he said he feels really bad about them, so I promised him that time, that I would never do that ever again. So, I did not). So after his message, I said I could meet him up in half an hour’s time, so then later he said no, he doesn’t have time to wait. (He was actually outside my work-place and thought I would be there too, but I was at home, which he wasn’t aware of). Anyhow, we did not meet up.
Now, I don’t know what to do. I am in a state of dilemma. Don’t know, if I should let go him, or get in touch with him, and try to get him back. I know he loves me; he is doing all this because he loves me, but I don’t know what to do. I know he is not committed; he changed his status just to convey that message to me, so that I can abuse him and forget him. If he is not interested in me anymore, why did he make his friend call me up, to check out, how am I doing? Why did he message me yesterday? Or was he just playing around when he messaged? If he had to not accept my friends request on orkut, what took him five days to decide? He could have done it on the first day also. If he got committed immediately the next day of we calling it off, when I messaged him the first time, he could have told me that time also, that he has someone else, why did he give me another option to be with him?
Friends, you know the entire situation now, why do you think he’s behaving like this? Did he ever love me? Or was he always faking it? Does he still love me? Do u think, his love is worth waiting for? Shall I forget him and come over him? Or shall I wait for a while there, set him free? Or shall I keep on getting in touch with him? Shall I take his best friends help to find out what is happening? (Though I don’t know, if his friend would be loyal enough n not go back to my boyfriend and tell him, that I have been asking about him). What should I do? Did he ever love and cared for me? Does he still have anything for me? Why did he even message me yesterday? Shall I wait for him to message me yet again? Or shall I take an initiative this time to call/message him and ask him to catch up? Please friend, tell me what shall I do? This situation is realllly killing! Please guys, I need some serious help.
Thanks to all of u in advance, but please, give me serious answers.Make/break relationship..SINCERE ADVICE PLEASE.sorry for the longest question :(but SERIOUS ADVICE ASAP,URGENT
This is one very very complicated relationship. To tell the truth, I can imagine well, how confused you are and I would like to help you with advice, but I am not sure at all if I can tell something that can be useful to you.
If I was you... I would give up on him only with one condition - if he didn't love me. In any other way, I would fight for my love. He is insecure too, so maybe he needs not doubts, but encouragement from you and support, to remain strong and be able to believe everything is possible for you two.
Could he maybe introduce you to his family, only as a friend, just saying you have the same hobby, or something, so they wouldn't suspect anything? For his family could learn to know you and to like you, if you wouldn't be just a strange girl for them, but they knew you, maybe love marriage wouldn't seem to them so dangerous?
Time heals. So it will heal the wounds that cause the death of their relative, who has been killed. Maybe with time they won't react so strong on that. And you don't have to show them all your affection and deep crazy feelings, stay calm and even-tempered, so they could see, that you two can take reasonable decisions and take good responsibility for your lives and take care of each other.
Good luck and don't lose hope. Love hurts sometimes, but it is still amazing.
PS.To add a few things for those, who so surely say that this man doesn't love her. Life is not always black and white. All of us have our own fears and weaknesses. And as much as I know, for hindu's family has very big and deep meaning, so if he didn't obey, we don't know what would happen. Would it be so easy for any of you, who dare to blame the guy, chose between your family and a person that you love, when in one case you will for sure lose one?Make/break relationship..SINCERE ADVICE PLEASE.sorry for the longest question :(but SERIOUS ADVICE ASAP,URGENT
You can ask this question 100 different ways but it's pretty simple. you're wasting your time. this guy is very immature and is not ready for a relationship. he doesn't love you - if he did he would have stood up to his family a long time ago. When a man loves you, he will move mountains. move on sister
You slept together. He does not want you anymore (probably because you won't shut up). Get over it. Find someone else.
Do you honestly think that someone wants to sit and read all of this? Shorten it a little then ask again. You will get more answers that way.
Are there CliffNotes?
THIS TO LONG
There will never be anything but heartache in pursuing this. He has made it clear that he must obey his family. That means one thing, he chooses to obey his family regardless of what he feels about you or you feel about him. None of the other questions matter because of this. If you love someone, you will choose that someone over all else, including your family. He has made his choice and he has told you so.
You must move on and find another form of happiness. There will never be any happiness in this situation. It sounds like he would be willing to keep you on for his secret sexual pleasures, but that is all he will ever give you. Can you live with that? You may say you can now, but i guarantee you won't be happy being his concubine for the rest of your life.
YOU NEED TO LEAVE THIS MAN ALONE, IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU ARE STALKING HIM AND THAT IS AGAINST THE LAW..
HE HAS MADE HIS POSITION VERY CLEAR TO YOU, I GOT IT FROM WHAT YOU HAVE WRITTEN SO WHY HAVEN'T YOU?
LEAVE THIS MAN ALONE AND MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE.. YOU ONLY KNEW HIM FOR THREE MONTHS BEFORE HE BROKE THINGS OFF WITH YOU, AND YET YOU KEEP CONTINUING TO HARASS HIM AND HE KEEPS TELLING YOU OVER AND OVER THAT HE WILL NEVER COMMIT TO YOU....
DO YOU HAVE A LOW SELF ESTEEM THAT YOU WOULD PERSIST IN PUTTING YOURSELF THROUGH ALL OF THIS TORTURE...
YOU NEED TO SPEAK WITH A COUNSELOR TO TEACH YOU HOW TO NOT BE SO NEEDY WITHIN A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME AND ALSO LEARN HOW TO LET GO OF SOMEONE WHEN THEY TELL YOU NO, THE RELATIONSHIP MUST END AND WILL NOT GO ANY WHERE..
HOW DO YOU THINK YOUR FAMILY WOULD FEEL IF THEY KNEW HOW YOU ARE CARRYING ON CHASING THIS MAN.. THIS I'M CERTAIN WOULD DISHONOR YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY...
SO STOP THIS INSANITY. FOR YOUR OWN SAKE, FOR THE SAKE OF THIS MAN YOU ARE HARASSING AND FOR YOUR FAMILY.....
DO YOU WISH TO BE SHUNNED BY YOUR FAMILY BY YOUR BEHAVIOR?
I am an American woman, and it sounds like perhaps you are from India? Or at least, have an Indian background? Am I correct?
I think I am understanding that your boyfriend loves you, but his family does not approve of ';love marriages,'; and therefore has arranged for his marriage to someone he does not love.
I think you need to move on from this man. He has toyed with your heart for too long.
The only way you should go back to him is if he is willing to stand up to his family and introduce you as the love of his life, the one he wants to marry. If he cannot do this, then he is not worthy of you. You need to find someone willing to do anything for you...even marry you despite how his family feels.
Now, I understand that I may be answering you from a very American point of view. I would be interested for you in getting an answer from someone who has the same cultural background as you.
Again, from my point of view, I say move on. Certainly there is a man out there for you who will love you no matter what, and be with you no matter what. That's what you deserve.
There are too many problems in your relationship.
Between family expectations, religious beliefs, and the cultural expectations, you have even more problems than the normal person experiences.
Try to look into the future and see that a marriage just doesn't have much of a chance to succeed when there are so many problems while you are dating.
Your relationship may have felt ';right'; to you at one time, but now it is all wrong. There can never be happiness for the two of you together. You should put an end to this for both of your sakes.
His love is not as deep as your love for him.
He does not respect you enough to tell his parents of his love.
He misses you enough to stay in contact, check on you, and even to ask you to accept that he will not marry you...but only wants to have relations with no committment.
';We shared a very good, strong relationship %26amp; were physically involved too, but on mutual basis.';
It was strong for you, but not for him.
He is using you.
I would suggest that you move on.
Look, this guy does not value the relationship he has with you. He is trying to manipulate you into accepting a lust relationshi with him with no commitment, and I know this is not what respecting you is about. He sounds like a whimp who hides behind his family for the things he says and does. He is blaiming his family when in fact it is he who does not want a committed relationship with you. I am not saying that it is not true his family is against this relationship, what I am saying is that he is using this as a convenient excuse to use you for sex. This guy sounds like trouble and will never in anyway love you the way you want to be loved.
Relationship Problem...advice please?
I have a boyfriend. We have been dating for 3 years now and are very much in love. The problem is that he doesn't like it if I have any male friends..not even one. He gets really upset about it. I asked him if he trusts me and he said yes. He said that he doesnt trust the males that I associate with. He says that most males will not hang out with a female unless they are attracted to her or they like her. I kinda understand because I would not like him talking to other females but these guys were seriously just friends..I have stopped associating with males because it upsets him so much and he's agree'd not to associate with other females...but I feel like its wrong to stop talking to my friends when they havent done any wrong to me or him..what shoud I do?
Guy's I'd like to hear your opinions too...thanksRelationship Problem...advice please?
In a healthy relationship, you should still have your freedom. My boyfriend is a tiny bit protective too but not to that extent. You should try to hang out with him and some other guys and see how he reacts to ease into it. Or try reasoning with him and asking him how he'd feel if you said he couldnt hang out with any girls
Guy's I'd like to hear your opinions too...thanksRelationship Problem...advice please?
In a healthy relationship, you should still have your freedom. My boyfriend is a tiny bit protective too but not to that extent. You should try to hang out with him and some other guys and see how he reacts to ease into it. Or try reasoning with him and asking him how he'd feel if you said he couldnt hang out with any girls
Relationship help...advice...
so i met this guy but hes 8 years older than me...we've been talking like every day for about a week...and i think i like him, like more then just a friend. i have no idea what he feels, and im sure to him im just this little kid... :/
i've never had that much luck in guys...so an advice will be happily taken...
what should i do?
what CAN i do?
and i mean, its not some stupid little crush....i really like him.Relationship help...advice...
well i think it kinda depends..like are you 14 and hes 22 or are you 30
and hes 38?hahaha cause i think it matters.Well i think you should continue to flirt with him but dont take things to fast,cause if he does
not like you then he might think thats obbsesivee hahahah. Let him take your online or phone relationship to the next levelll.if you are younger i would stop talking to him though cause thats creepy. of him so yeah.hope this helped (;Relationship help...advice...
It all depends on if its Legal for you two to date.
If you are under 18 then I would suggest that you just try to find someone else because I really dont think that being so young you should date someone as old as him.
Otherwise, I would talk to him %26amp; see how he feels about you. Its not too hard to do... Just go with a simple, ';What do you think about me?... Do you think I would be your type?';
Im sure it will all work out.
i think u fell in love with him......so if u r happy with that just be with him .......but make sure dat he is giving u a respect as a gal.
depends on the ages. if its like 12 and 20 then forget it even if he does like you it won't work out
hmmmm.. juss keeep talking to him like a friend and see what happens. be patient, be hopeful, and make sure u keep ur options open tooo. live ur life. dont make him ur whole life. =)
well...you can ask him to hang out
with you as a start.
then just continue to learn more and get to
know him better.
and just continue on what you're doing
because it seems to be working fine
Well youdidn't state his age or any other facts so it's kind of hard.
I have been with my boyfriend Sergei for about two years and he is 30 and I am 22, things are okay.
I think that it just depends on the two people involved.
No, he's way to old. Unless your about 20 then let it go no matter how much you like him. At least till your older..
i've never had that much luck in guys...so an advice will be happily taken...
what should i do?
what CAN i do?
and i mean, its not some stupid little crush....i really like him.Relationship help...advice...
well i think it kinda depends..like are you 14 and hes 22 or are you 30
and hes 38?hahaha cause i think it matters.Well i think you should continue to flirt with him but dont take things to fast,cause if he does
not like you then he might think thats obbsesivee hahahah. Let him take your online or phone relationship to the next levelll.if you are younger i would stop talking to him though cause thats creepy. of him so yeah.hope this helped (;Relationship help...advice...
It all depends on if its Legal for you two to date.
If you are under 18 then I would suggest that you just try to find someone else because I really dont think that being so young you should date someone as old as him.
Otherwise, I would talk to him %26amp; see how he feels about you. Its not too hard to do... Just go with a simple, ';What do you think about me?... Do you think I would be your type?';
Im sure it will all work out.
i think u fell in love with him......so if u r happy with that just be with him .......but make sure dat he is giving u a respect as a gal.
depends on the ages. if its like 12 and 20 then forget it even if he does like you it won't work out
hmmmm.. juss keeep talking to him like a friend and see what happens. be patient, be hopeful, and make sure u keep ur options open tooo. live ur life. dont make him ur whole life. =)
well...you can ask him to hang out
with you as a start.
then just continue to learn more and get to
know him better.
and just continue on what you're doing
because it seems to be working fine
Well youdidn't state his age or any other facts so it's kind of hard.
I have been with my boyfriend Sergei for about two years and he is 30 and I am 22, things are okay.
I think that it just depends on the two people involved.
No, he's way to old. Unless your about 20 then let it go no matter how much you like him. At least till your older..
Relationship/clothing advice needed!?
i have been in a great relationship for three years now (paying for a ring as i type!) but i have alot of hang ups about our sex life. First, i have a fetish for stockings, i know its weird, im sorry! but for the life of me i cant get her to ';dress up'; for me in the bedroom, to me its a very simple thing, just put em on, give me 3 or 4 minutes and im cool you know? ( ok maybe not that long lol) she claims to hate them, and will never wear them for me, however when i helped her move into her new place i found a box that had a garter belt and several pairs of thigh highs and stockings..so she has worn em right? why nto for me!!! we do everything together and are in true love, but i cant it out of my head that she has done it in the past for some other guy, and refuses to do it for me, the one who feels like hes earned enough brownie points for something so common..
So how can i approach to do it?
do i have 2 get over it?
how can i let it go if she still refuses?
PLEASE HELP!Relationship/clothing advice needed!?
If she has done this for someone else - why is she denying someone ';she loves';? Discuss this with her. If you are really hung up in this fetish of the stockings - I would seriously be thinking of not being married to this girl. If you do not find satisfaction in marriage - you will probably be looking elsewhere for it and ';cheating'; while married is not a good thing for a healthy relationship.Relationship/clothing advice needed!?
Ask her straight out...has she done this before, whats the problem now, etc.
well, how do you know that she has actually done that for another guy? she might just have those to wear for her because she feels sexy in them. be open about it and talk to her. you're not gonna change her. no one likes to feel like they have to make a change for another person. be honest. communication is key. but don't feel discouraged over it. if you've been together for 3 years, she's obviously doing something right for you. :)
So how can i approach to do it?
do i have 2 get over it?
how can i let it go if she still refuses?
PLEASE HELP!Relationship/clothing advice needed!?
If she has done this for someone else - why is she denying someone ';she loves';? Discuss this with her. If you are really hung up in this fetish of the stockings - I would seriously be thinking of not being married to this girl. If you do not find satisfaction in marriage - you will probably be looking elsewhere for it and ';cheating'; while married is not a good thing for a healthy relationship.Relationship/clothing advice needed!?
Ask her straight out...has she done this before, whats the problem now, etc.
well, how do you know that she has actually done that for another guy? she might just have those to wear for her because she feels sexy in them. be open about it and talk to her. you're not gonna change her. no one likes to feel like they have to make a change for another person. be honest. communication is key. but don't feel discouraged over it. if you've been together for 3 years, she's obviously doing something right for you. :)
Relationship problem advice?
This girl and I have been talking for about a month. She has an ex bf she hangs out with once a month and makes out with. She had a ';boy toy'; that she ended it with in that month. she was upset about some medical issues theboy toy had. then theres me i asked her if we were working toward someting and she said she could see a possiblity. But then she said she thought about it and doesnt see anything happening right now. But she said dont expect anything. So i asked if that meant something in the future?, never?, or you dont know. She said for the time being i dont want one. possibly ever. ima girl idk what i want she says. Then i said i thought we would just keep talken and trying to get to know each other and she saiid ookay. and so then she called me a friend with benefits. do you think it will evolve into anything? we get along great. she told me that if she was to have a boyfriend ever it would have to be someone like me. shes never had a real bf. I am 19 shes 18 were in college.Relationship problem advice?
This girl does seem to not really like the commitment of having a boy friend. She'd rather ';play around'; Understand? She has a boy toy, she makes out with ex's? You said so yourself that you're her ';Friend with benifits'; That really doesn't make sense on her part... Except for the fact that she prolly doesn't wanna commit like that. From her stand point, its prolly just more in it for her to have many guys on the sides, but not a #1. Do you understand? I mean, This may evolve into something, but seeing the way she goes on, i highly doubt it. Maybe in a couple of years, but why wait that long?Relationship problem advice?
Now there is one who likes to keep her options open, and who can blame her ? 18 and 19 is too young to be worried about ever-aftering. Just enjoy being with her (bet she is a blast to hang with) and don't get possessive or needy. I think the minute you do with this lady, she'll be gone so fast you could shoot pool on her shirt tail. Good luck.
Now it's your turn to learn a bit about relationship compatibility and about yourself, the information that i'm gonna share will help you to see what is important in all of your relationship problems. Best wishes !
http://relationshipcompatibility.blogspot.com/
you just said it she does'nt know what she wants, but i think i would be more concerned with those medical issues of the boy toy. my advice move on to someone who knows what they want
no sweety... she ain't really worth all that..
but if u feel that she's special for u.. give it 1 month.. if u see her ways r changing n she likes u or showing signs stick 2 it.
if there is no change n her attitude is the same
MOVE ON
She's not interested... she's having fun and you're her emotional rebound guy! You guys SHOULD be having fun in college!
She's a hoe. Don't be one of her boy toys cause trust me, she has enough. Tell the perv to **** off.
This girl does seem to not really like the commitment of having a boy friend. She'd rather ';play around'; Understand? She has a boy toy, she makes out with ex's? You said so yourself that you're her ';Friend with benifits'; That really doesn't make sense on her part... Except for the fact that she prolly doesn't wanna commit like that. From her stand point, its prolly just more in it for her to have many guys on the sides, but not a #1. Do you understand? I mean, This may evolve into something, but seeing the way she goes on, i highly doubt it. Maybe in a couple of years, but why wait that long?Relationship problem advice?
Now there is one who likes to keep her options open, and who can blame her ? 18 and 19 is too young to be worried about ever-aftering. Just enjoy being with her (bet she is a blast to hang with) and don't get possessive or needy. I think the minute you do with this lady, she'll be gone so fast you could shoot pool on her shirt tail. Good luck.
Now it's your turn to learn a bit about relationship compatibility and about yourself, the information that i'm gonna share will help you to see what is important in all of your relationship problems. Best wishes !
http://relationshipcompatibility.blogspot.com/
you just said it she does'nt know what she wants, but i think i would be more concerned with those medical issues of the boy toy. my advice move on to someone who knows what they want
no sweety... she ain't really worth all that..
but if u feel that she's special for u.. give it 1 month.. if u see her ways r changing n she likes u or showing signs stick 2 it.
if there is no change n her attitude is the same
MOVE ON
She's not interested... she's having fun and you're her emotional rebound guy! You guys SHOULD be having fun in college!
She's a hoe. Don't be one of her boy toys cause trust me, she has enough. Tell the perv to **** off.
Relationship/ marrage advice?
Alright, We've been married for 7 years this May. I would say for the last 2 we have had some (as far as I thought) minor problems.
We argue (bicker) daily... and I have come to realize (after she finally told me) that it has started to get bad.
I will admit at our arguments I am always right at all costs (sometimes at her expence) I didn't really see it before but after we talked about it I realized it and vowed to fix that issue.
I haven't been the best husband in the world by any means... I've done many questionable things behind her back and even though it probably tore her apart she has alwayse stuck with me. (no I never cheated on her) but I have certainly gave the impression (or been in circumstances that made it seem I was) I have aparently abused her mentaly (and do accept complete fault for it) I just was blind to it at the time.
Recently after her new job (which is primarily dealing with single sailors and Marines) No not a stripper, but works at the facility that plans trips for them and gives them a place to hang out. She has become pretty close to some (dancing with them at clubs, having them on the IM... ect.) and also I have caught her in many blatent lies lately... which is very new because she really is not a liar. (which is why it is usually easy to tell when she is lying).
Basically I think I'm going through what I have put her through the last couple of years... so in a way I deserve it.
But last month we realized we were the worst we have ever been, and vowed to try and fix it. But I have caught her in 2 blantent lies since... So I guess my question is... I SCREWED THIS UP, how do I fix it????? and how can we re-ignite that flame that we had when we got married?????????????????Relationship/ marrage advice?
Plan a weekend get-a-way with her. Or take her on a date to some where you went on your first date. Take her to the first place you told her you loved her. If its too far away.... then set up your back patio to have the same atmosphere, like if it was at the beach, buy one of those sound CDs and play it. Buy her a dress you know she would look amazing in and lay it on the bed for her to find and wear out. Make her dish that she is crazy about, or try to cook a new receipe together that yall have never made before. To sumerize, make her feel special and amazing, and that you put alot of thought into the plan. If you used to have a nickname for her before things got bad, start calling her by. Send her text in the middle of the day and tell her you miss her. Good luck to you.wholesale cosmetics
We argue (bicker) daily... and I have come to realize (after she finally told me) that it has started to get bad.
I will admit at our arguments I am always right at all costs (sometimes at her expence) I didn't really see it before but after we talked about it I realized it and vowed to fix that issue.
I haven't been the best husband in the world by any means... I've done many questionable things behind her back and even though it probably tore her apart she has alwayse stuck with me. (no I never cheated on her) but I have certainly gave the impression (or been in circumstances that made it seem I was) I have aparently abused her mentaly (and do accept complete fault for it) I just was blind to it at the time.
Recently after her new job (which is primarily dealing with single sailors and Marines) No not a stripper, but works at the facility that plans trips for them and gives them a place to hang out. She has become pretty close to some (dancing with them at clubs, having them on the IM... ect.) and also I have caught her in many blatent lies lately... which is very new because she really is not a liar. (which is why it is usually easy to tell when she is lying).
Basically I think I'm going through what I have put her through the last couple of years... so in a way I deserve it.
But last month we realized we were the worst we have ever been, and vowed to try and fix it. But I have caught her in 2 blantent lies since... So I guess my question is... I SCREWED THIS UP, how do I fix it????? and how can we re-ignite that flame that we had when we got married?????????????????Relationship/ marrage advice?
Plan a weekend get-a-way with her. Or take her on a date to some where you went on your first date. Take her to the first place you told her you loved her. If its too far away.... then set up your back patio to have the same atmosphere, like if it was at the beach, buy one of those sound CDs and play it. Buy her a dress you know she would look amazing in and lay it on the bed for her to find and wear out. Make her dish that she is crazy about, or try to cook a new receipe together that yall have never made before. To sumerize, make her feel special and amazing, and that you put alot of thought into the plan. If you used to have a nickname for her before things got bad, start calling her by. Send her text in the middle of the day and tell her you miss her. Good luck to you.
Relationship woes... advice from guys and girls?
My boyfriend and I are pretty close, but lately I feel like lately some aspects are drifting away.
I guess when I try to make love to him, he is nowhere near as interested as me. We used to dance all the time, but now if we dance, he'll dance for thirty seconds and stop... he just seems more and more interested in things like watching TV and less and less like doing the stuff we used to. I know these things sound insignificant, but it's really a myriad of little things. I'll start giving him a BJ and he'll be like ';baby, dont you have to get back to your work'; and it's just such a downer and makes me feel like s*t - he is so wonderful and is most likely just trying to be thoughtful, but there's no denying he's a little less into it all.
What is this? Is it just a natural progression of a relationship - does anyone out there have a relationship that has been going on for years and still have all the oomph?
Hmmm... just wondering cos right now Im feeling a little dowRelationship woes... advice from guys and girls?
wow getting a bj and he asks u should u go back to work? bite that crap off hahah. one make sure hes not gay ok? two back off a little see how he responds, maybe he doesnt wanna get so close where its gonna scare him. or just come out straight up and ask him i dont feel like were the same is everything ok? i mean u need to know cuz ur gonna get hurt if he keeps doing this. i say do one of those options and stick with it. but if u think ur only gonna get hurt then u have to make a choice. good luck
I guess when I try to make love to him, he is nowhere near as interested as me. We used to dance all the time, but now if we dance, he'll dance for thirty seconds and stop... he just seems more and more interested in things like watching TV and less and less like doing the stuff we used to. I know these things sound insignificant, but it's really a myriad of little things. I'll start giving him a BJ and he'll be like ';baby, dont you have to get back to your work'; and it's just such a downer and makes me feel like s*t - he is so wonderful and is most likely just trying to be thoughtful, but there's no denying he's a little less into it all.
What is this? Is it just a natural progression of a relationship - does anyone out there have a relationship that has been going on for years and still have all the oomph?
Hmmm... just wondering cos right now Im feeling a little dowRelationship woes... advice from guys and girls?
wow getting a bj and he asks u should u go back to work? bite that crap off hahah. one make sure hes not gay ok? two back off a little see how he responds, maybe he doesnt wanna get so close where its gonna scare him. or just come out straight up and ask him i dont feel like were the same is everything ok? i mean u need to know cuz ur gonna get hurt if he keeps doing this. i say do one of those options and stick with it. but if u think ur only gonna get hurt then u have to make a choice. good luck
My mother is in an abusive relationship. advice would be appreciated?
My mum moved in a man she had known for 3 weeks when I was 15. She was 55 and he was 33. She was a rich lonely divorcee who is abit dim. He abused me mentally for years and sexually abused others but not me. My mum would never believe it. He abuses her mentally by controlling her finances and what she watches on tv. She called me this wken saying for the 100th time she was kicking him out. i arranged everything for her . the next day she turned against me for picking on him and that he was staying as she needed a man there to help her. this man still does things to me to this day such as call me in the middle of the night and hang up just to wake me, scratches my car. he hit his first wife and has a conviction for sex offence on a miner. my mum says he is innocent. I want to cut her off, what do you think. I have had 16 years of this and I now have ulcers with the stressMy mother is in an abusive relationship. advice would be appreciated?
She's not taking it from you?
Read this page - and make her read it.
http://www.enotalone.com/article/4112.ht鈥?/a>My mother is in an abusive relationship. advice would be appreciated?
It seems that your mum isn't as miserable as she lets on cause if she were she'd leave this man. And you are going to continue to be miserable with her unless you cut all ties with her and her relationship. You can still love her but tell her you are staying out of the mess she has created with this man, that she's a grown woman and if she doesn't want help, you can't force it on her. As far as him invading your privacy, damaging you property, get the police involved. Although, they are having problems, it shouldn't flow over into your life. If he is arrested for destroying your property, so be it. Your mum needs to see what kind of person he truly is. Other than that, there's nothing much you can do for her. She's got to make the decision to leave him and if you try to make her, she will only end up resenting you for it.
How sad for you. Hang in there and live a good life. Your mother has made her own path, you have done what you could to try and help her. You should definately distance yourself from her and her boyfriend. If you know of any minors he has molested you should report it to the Dept. of Human Services. Your mother is not emotionally healthly, I had a similar childhood. As an adult a wise doctor told me that if my mother was emotionally healthly she would want me to be happy and have a good life. Being involved with her bad choices is not good for you. Avoid contact with both of them, let her know you love her but you can no longer be involved as long as she stays in this situation. You do not say if drugs or alcohol is involved. But I suspect they are. Good luck, live well, be happy, the best revenge is to be happy.
Your mum is obviously in denial of this man's attitude. You should advise her to seek counselling. Talk to a friend or family member of hers who knew about this, hopefully she may listen to a second opinion.
You mum doesn't need support for you are just enabling her to continue with her bad behavior.
Do not rescue her over and over. Get rid of the support and tell her why. She is not taking responsibility for herself - don't you do it!
your mother has to be ready to help herself if she is not ,then there is nothing you can do . Omg you have ulcers girl get yourself to a dr and see if there is a relative you can move in with . You dont need ulcers period but at your age that is ridiculous. good luck and I will pray for you .
Do what you have to do. If your mom doesn't want to accept what this man really is, there isn't anything you can do about it. Tell her that you've had enough of dealing with it and you're done with her and her man. Change your number if you have to. I would also file a restraining order on this man to prevent any further harrassment. Good luck and all the best in the future dear.
If you need someone's permission to do this, then: go ahead, it's alright.
I understand how hard it is to have to cut a family member out of your life for your own mental and physical health. But if that is what you need to do in order to protect yourself, then do it. Mourn the loss of the mother you wanted her to be and the relationship that you wanted to have. Accept the reality of who she is and what she can and can't offer you. If all she has to add to your life is grief, then it's alright to severly limit your time with her or to completely cut her out of your life.
I am concerned that she is in an abusive relationship. If it is at all possible for you to stay connected to her in case she really does decide to leave him, then try checking in with her once a month or once every two months. But if even that much contact is not good for your physical and mental health, then don't do even that. Make as clean a break as you can and start working on making yourself stronger.
If you have children of your own, then work on being the kind of parent to your kids that you wish she was to you.
Good Luck
Wow... sorry to hear this is happening to you. You're mom needs some serious help... serious counseling. Unfortunately, if she does not get any, she will always be unhappy with this abusive man and he'll probably take every penny she has... and her dignity. Only you know if it's time to cut her out of your life... only you can answer that sweetie. You are the one that has gone through all of this. You have to decide if your life will be better without your Mom... sometimes in life, we have to make these hard/harsh decisions about a family member. It's not an easy thing to do...
I'm sorry about your situation, but you need to play hard cop. Tell your Mum enough is enough. You can't help her till she helps herself. She knows she's always got you to fall back on so the pattern will continue. Tell her your not well and can't handle her situation any longer. You've done all you can. This guy should be locked up. Does your Mum have a will? I hope he's not in it as he sounds like he's putting her life in danger. You can't help her now. Just make the phone call and wait. She'll ring you, but you'll have to give her an ultimatum and if she does come round to your way of thinking. He'd over there with a locksmith and lawyer. Even better, she should sell up and get a brand new home with no bad memories.
pranks your phone ? if somebody pranked me in the middle of the night, id set the phone co. up to trace it %26amp; file charges. scratches your car? call the law %26amp; insurance co. file charges !!! thats your stuff not your moms. CALL THE LAW %26amp; FILE CHARGES AGANIST HIM. its your moms fault for putting up with this for 16 years. you dont have to.unless you want to.
After all that time it's probably too late to put on a ski mask and blast him with a baseball bat. But it's worth considering.
That dude is one slick sicko..he is controlling and has your mom brainwashed.
She needs to get counseling asap. It will only get worse..he could end up killing her.
Try and catch him in the act of things he's doing to you..get it on tape,call the police.
Apparently your mom cares more for this guy than she does her own son. If it were me I wouldn't cut her off..cause after she's gone it will haunt you and you'll feel so miserable knowing you could have done more to help her understand what this guy has done to her and you. He'll have all her money and everything. I knew a lady that happened to and her 3 boys were left with zilch. Have another talk with her and tell her if she needs a man to help her,that there are others out there that would be happy to help her and not give her the mental abuse or control her.Try and get her to go to church,or talk with a pastor. Maybe if she gets opinions from other people besides you she will listen to them and finally kick him out for good. Good luck.
What a hard thing for you to go through. Your Mom sounds like she doesn't have much self esteem to put up with him. Try not to cut her off totally, but don't get involved unless you know hes being physically abusive. All you can do is tell the authorities and if they are called they know whats going on. Just be there for her and listen. If he is mean to you, don't go to her house, just have her visit you.
Sorry to hear this but it is common when there is no marriage commitment. Your Mum is the one who needs to kick him out. There is little you can do about it. You need to see a counselor to help you through all of this
She's not taking it from you?
Read this page - and make her read it.
http://www.enotalone.com/article/4112.ht鈥?/a>My mother is in an abusive relationship. advice would be appreciated?
It seems that your mum isn't as miserable as she lets on cause if she were she'd leave this man. And you are going to continue to be miserable with her unless you cut all ties with her and her relationship. You can still love her but tell her you are staying out of the mess she has created with this man, that she's a grown woman and if she doesn't want help, you can't force it on her. As far as him invading your privacy, damaging you property, get the police involved. Although, they are having problems, it shouldn't flow over into your life. If he is arrested for destroying your property, so be it. Your mum needs to see what kind of person he truly is. Other than that, there's nothing much you can do for her. She's got to make the decision to leave him and if you try to make her, she will only end up resenting you for it.
How sad for you. Hang in there and live a good life. Your mother has made her own path, you have done what you could to try and help her. You should definately distance yourself from her and her boyfriend. If you know of any minors he has molested you should report it to the Dept. of Human Services. Your mother is not emotionally healthly, I had a similar childhood. As an adult a wise doctor told me that if my mother was emotionally healthly she would want me to be happy and have a good life. Being involved with her bad choices is not good for you. Avoid contact with both of them, let her know you love her but you can no longer be involved as long as she stays in this situation. You do not say if drugs or alcohol is involved. But I suspect they are. Good luck, live well, be happy, the best revenge is to be happy.
Your mum is obviously in denial of this man's attitude. You should advise her to seek counselling. Talk to a friend or family member of hers who knew about this, hopefully she may listen to a second opinion.
You mum doesn't need support for you are just enabling her to continue with her bad behavior.
Do not rescue her over and over. Get rid of the support and tell her why. She is not taking responsibility for herself - don't you do it!
your mother has to be ready to help herself if she is not ,then there is nothing you can do . Omg you have ulcers girl get yourself to a dr and see if there is a relative you can move in with . You dont need ulcers period but at your age that is ridiculous. good luck and I will pray for you .
Do what you have to do. If your mom doesn't want to accept what this man really is, there isn't anything you can do about it. Tell her that you've had enough of dealing with it and you're done with her and her man. Change your number if you have to. I would also file a restraining order on this man to prevent any further harrassment. Good luck and all the best in the future dear.
If you need someone's permission to do this, then: go ahead, it's alright.
I understand how hard it is to have to cut a family member out of your life for your own mental and physical health. But if that is what you need to do in order to protect yourself, then do it. Mourn the loss of the mother you wanted her to be and the relationship that you wanted to have. Accept the reality of who she is and what she can and can't offer you. If all she has to add to your life is grief, then it's alright to severly limit your time with her or to completely cut her out of your life.
I am concerned that she is in an abusive relationship. If it is at all possible for you to stay connected to her in case she really does decide to leave him, then try checking in with her once a month or once every two months. But if even that much contact is not good for your physical and mental health, then don't do even that. Make as clean a break as you can and start working on making yourself stronger.
If you have children of your own, then work on being the kind of parent to your kids that you wish she was to you.
Good Luck
Wow... sorry to hear this is happening to you. You're mom needs some serious help... serious counseling. Unfortunately, if she does not get any, she will always be unhappy with this abusive man and he'll probably take every penny she has... and her dignity. Only you know if it's time to cut her out of your life... only you can answer that sweetie. You are the one that has gone through all of this. You have to decide if your life will be better without your Mom... sometimes in life, we have to make these hard/harsh decisions about a family member. It's not an easy thing to do...
I'm sorry about your situation, but you need to play hard cop. Tell your Mum enough is enough. You can't help her till she helps herself. She knows she's always got you to fall back on so the pattern will continue. Tell her your not well and can't handle her situation any longer. You've done all you can. This guy should be locked up. Does your Mum have a will? I hope he's not in it as he sounds like he's putting her life in danger. You can't help her now. Just make the phone call and wait. She'll ring you, but you'll have to give her an ultimatum and if she does come round to your way of thinking. He'd over there with a locksmith and lawyer. Even better, she should sell up and get a brand new home with no bad memories.
pranks your phone ? if somebody pranked me in the middle of the night, id set the phone co. up to trace it %26amp; file charges. scratches your car? call the law %26amp; insurance co. file charges !!! thats your stuff not your moms. CALL THE LAW %26amp; FILE CHARGES AGANIST HIM. its your moms fault for putting up with this for 16 years. you dont have to.unless you want to.
After all that time it's probably too late to put on a ski mask and blast him with a baseball bat. But it's worth considering.
That dude is one slick sicko..he is controlling and has your mom brainwashed.
She needs to get counseling asap. It will only get worse..he could end up killing her.
Try and catch him in the act of things he's doing to you..get it on tape,call the police.
Apparently your mom cares more for this guy than she does her own son. If it were me I wouldn't cut her off..cause after she's gone it will haunt you and you'll feel so miserable knowing you could have done more to help her understand what this guy has done to her and you. He'll have all her money and everything. I knew a lady that happened to and her 3 boys were left with zilch. Have another talk with her and tell her if she needs a man to help her,that there are others out there that would be happy to help her and not give her the mental abuse or control her.Try and get her to go to church,or talk with a pastor. Maybe if she gets opinions from other people besides you she will listen to them and finally kick him out for good. Good luck.
What a hard thing for you to go through. Your Mom sounds like she doesn't have much self esteem to put up with him. Try not to cut her off totally, but don't get involved unless you know hes being physically abusive. All you can do is tell the authorities and if they are called they know whats going on. Just be there for her and listen. If he is mean to you, don't go to her house, just have her visit you.
Sorry to hear this but it is common when there is no marriage commitment. Your Mum is the one who needs to kick him out. There is little you can do about it. You need to see a counselor to help you through all of this
I am in desperate need of relationship advice?!?!?!!!!!?
Kay so we started going out like 3 days ago and we didnt know eacthother well at all like we never ever talked.and the first day and the second day we like didnt talk at all ,and now today we just started to talk like A BIT ??? all we do is say hi and hug , like a g/f and b/f do way more than that . sometimes he says hi to me first and sometimes i say hi to him first. Its better from when we started, but i dont think this is working out that well. Ireallyy need some advice like i really donno what to do! and no answers like ';oh just start a conversation'; like i already no that but this is really complicated. Help ?!?!?!?!!!!!I am in desperate need of relationship advice?!?!?!!!!!?
i think if you two feel so awkward with each other, then its one of those 'not meant to be' occassions. See, if you were meant to be b/f and g/f then you two would be comfortable with each others company...my serious advice is dump him, explain you guys arent compatible...and if he fights to keep you, then you never knowI am in desperate need of relationship advice?!?!?!!!!!?
well go up to him and start talking ask him if he wants to hang out to night or when ever and then go form there. well ask him wut he is doing to night or that night/day. but things should start sparking when you start talking to him.
Good Luck!!
i'd give it until you have been going out a week and if things don't get any better end it. most relationships can be awkward at first i think you just need to get comfortable with each other :)
Just give it some time. Just be patient. He will break out of his shell. Just talk to him and make him feel more comfortable around you.
You guys don't know each other but are gf and bf so it's going to start slow.
I'd say it's progressing normally.
Have more confidence in yourself. Work on your self-esteem.
why are you going out with him if you dont know him.
how about u go on a date and get to know him
you're going out but you've never really talked ??? how does that even happen?
honestly, relationships depend on conversations. If you and your boyfriend are unable to converse with one another, dating is a total waste of time and an excuse to keep the unwanted from asking you out.
Question sweetie: Why are you even dating? HOW are you two dating if yahl never even talk?
And the thing is, it shouldnt be forced. If you have to sit there and brainstorm constantly, trying to figure out what to say, there should be no relationship.
Personally, RELAX.
Friendship has to form before a relationship can.
A comfort around him needs to be developed. But if you two seriously think that yahl like one another, try spending time together. LOTS AND LOTS OF TIME TOGETHER. If sparks ignite, your problem is solved. If not, find someone you don't have to try so hard to be yourself with. I guess it all depends on how much you like this guy.
But good luck sweetheart.
More than likely, its not worth it.
i think if you two feel so awkward with each other, then its one of those 'not meant to be' occassions. See, if you were meant to be b/f and g/f then you two would be comfortable with each others company...my serious advice is dump him, explain you guys arent compatible...and if he fights to keep you, then you never knowI am in desperate need of relationship advice?!?!?!!!!!?
well go up to him and start talking ask him if he wants to hang out to night or when ever and then go form there. well ask him wut he is doing to night or that night/day. but things should start sparking when you start talking to him.
Good Luck!!
i'd give it until you have been going out a week and if things don't get any better end it. most relationships can be awkward at first i think you just need to get comfortable with each other :)
Just give it some time. Just be patient. He will break out of his shell. Just talk to him and make him feel more comfortable around you.
You guys don't know each other but are gf and bf so it's going to start slow.
I'd say it's progressing normally.
Have more confidence in yourself. Work on your self-esteem.
why are you going out with him if you dont know him.
how about u go on a date and get to know him
you're going out but you've never really talked ??? how does that even happen?
honestly, relationships depend on conversations. If you and your boyfriend are unable to converse with one another, dating is a total waste of time and an excuse to keep the unwanted from asking you out.
Question sweetie: Why are you even dating? HOW are you two dating if yahl never even talk?
And the thing is, it shouldnt be forced. If you have to sit there and brainstorm constantly, trying to figure out what to say, there should be no relationship.
Personally, RELAX.
Friendship has to form before a relationship can.
A comfort around him needs to be developed. But if you two seriously think that yahl like one another, try spending time together. LOTS AND LOTS OF TIME TOGETHER. If sparks ignite, your problem is solved. If not, find someone you don't have to try so hard to be yourself with. I guess it all depends on how much you like this guy.
But good luck sweetheart.
More than likely, its not worth it.
Please help - I need some solid relationship advice!!!?
**I ALREADY SUBMITTED THIS QUESTION, BUT I NEEDED TO CLARIFY THAT...
1.) SURPRISE, SURPRISE - I AM A GUY LADIES AND GENTS %26amp; I'M NOT THE ONE IN THE RELATIONSHIP!!!
2.) WE DID NOT MEET AT A CLUB %26amp; WE WERE FAR FROM BEING INTOXICATED IN ANYWAY...
Ok, listen.. I started dating someone 6 mos. ago just 2 mess around %26amp; we got really, REALLY, serious, REALLY FAST!! THIS IS SO CRAZY!! This person has EVERY quality I want/need in a gf/spouse %26amp; vice versa. THE CATCH: This person is dating someone, they have kids together, they're not married %26amp; LOATHE their situation. We can't be 2gether yet for financial reasons %26amp; because she is currently in school. What makes this so hard is we never planned on falling in love AT ALL!! Our minds say ';STOP'; but are hearts won't. We really don't know what to do. People are going to get hurt (regardless). We both have kids and that makes it so much more difficult. We just need some GOOD advice...If one of us were married this would be so much easier...HELP!!Please help - I need some solid relationship advice!!!?
I hate the fact that you guys started fooling around while she was in a relationship with someone else. No matter how much they loathe each other now at one point in time they cared enough about each other to have children. And she will always have this guy in her life because he is her childrens father and they need to have a working friendship so they can raise their kids properly. And if you are going to be a part of her life then you need to be respectful to the fact that he is the father and you are the step father. It only hurts the kids to see the adults in their life fighting. Now because she was dishonest and cheated on him behind his back it's going to make that so much harder to accomplish. He's going to feel hurt, betrayed and embarrassed. With any luck he won't vent onto the kids. You need to come clean to her current partner asap. The longer the betrayal goes on the harder it will be to forgive. Tell your girl to spare his feelings. Ask a friend or family member to babysit the kids so they don't hear any fights. Say something along the lines of. This relationship hasn't been working for a while now and i think it's time we seperate. Your very important to the children and I'd like us to try and end this relationship on good terms for the sake of the kids because i don't want them to grow up remembering us fighting all the time. It's important we learn how to be friends because there are going to be many birthdays and eventually graduations, weddings and with time the birth of grandchildren. And i don't want either of us to miss out on these important moments in our childrens lives. I'm sure one day you will find another women and i will try very hard to get along well with her for the sake of the kids and when the time comes I would appreciate the same from you. And wait a month or so before she introduces you to the kids and her ex. It has to be done. What good is love if it is surrounded by deceit?Please help - I need some solid relationship advice!!!?
Everyone has to work on their relationship. Sometimes it can be hard but both the man and woman have to give a little. You should check out this blog: http://winningyouback.blogspot.com
It has a lot of relationship information that has helped me and some of my friends.
Slow down. Ask each other what you need form one antiher and do it in great detail. Have general topoics, but then, in details.
6 months is too soon,. Wait one year.
i agree with leg....... you should wait a year that's how long it takes for the mask to come off but if you are cheating on your spouses you should stop immediately if you remain close with no sex then dig deeper there ac tally be something there then
mayeb you two shoul dthink about your childrens life before you think about destorying theirs
Cold showers.
This is lust not love. Real love that lasts and you can depend on needs time to develop from the first initial attraction. You havent had time only pressure to part which makes it burn hotter, but it wont last and you will do irrevocable hurt.
How can you fall for a school age kid, with kids of her own, then seriously say she's an ideal woman to spend the rest of your life with?
She sounds like she has major issues do you really want to get invloved dragging all sorts of kids along with you?
My advice is despite who is in a relationship and who isnt this situation will not get any easier without honesty. If you are not the one in a relationship and the other person is with the upmost respect I would question if this is genuine or she would rather believe the grass is greener hence how quickly this appears to have moved along with you. If she isnt happy with her current partner and father to her children then she should explore this with him and tell him she isnt happy and wishes to leave. I dont think anyone should stay in a r'ship and be miserable at the same time however I dont think that unhappiness can justify an affair either. It is possible to protect the children from the consequences only if she owns up before it comes out. Both of you having children should not prevent anyone from doing the right thing. I acknowledge how emotions run away with us and no one plans to fall in love. Just think about it and spend time away from one another until she has made her mind up to stay or leave him although you are not the one in a relationship you are still condoning her actions. Take Care wish you well.
1.) SURPRISE, SURPRISE - I AM A GUY LADIES AND GENTS %26amp; I'M NOT THE ONE IN THE RELATIONSHIP!!!
2.) WE DID NOT MEET AT A CLUB %26amp; WE WERE FAR FROM BEING INTOXICATED IN ANYWAY...
Ok, listen.. I started dating someone 6 mos. ago just 2 mess around %26amp; we got really, REALLY, serious, REALLY FAST!! THIS IS SO CRAZY!! This person has EVERY quality I want/need in a gf/spouse %26amp; vice versa. THE CATCH: This person is dating someone, they have kids together, they're not married %26amp; LOATHE their situation. We can't be 2gether yet for financial reasons %26amp; because she is currently in school. What makes this so hard is we never planned on falling in love AT ALL!! Our minds say ';STOP'; but are hearts won't. We really don't know what to do. People are going to get hurt (regardless). We both have kids and that makes it so much more difficult. We just need some GOOD advice...If one of us were married this would be so much easier...HELP!!Please help - I need some solid relationship advice!!!?
I hate the fact that you guys started fooling around while she was in a relationship with someone else. No matter how much they loathe each other now at one point in time they cared enough about each other to have children. And she will always have this guy in her life because he is her childrens father and they need to have a working friendship so they can raise their kids properly. And if you are going to be a part of her life then you need to be respectful to the fact that he is the father and you are the step father. It only hurts the kids to see the adults in their life fighting. Now because she was dishonest and cheated on him behind his back it's going to make that so much harder to accomplish. He's going to feel hurt, betrayed and embarrassed. With any luck he won't vent onto the kids. You need to come clean to her current partner asap. The longer the betrayal goes on the harder it will be to forgive. Tell your girl to spare his feelings. Ask a friend or family member to babysit the kids so they don't hear any fights. Say something along the lines of. This relationship hasn't been working for a while now and i think it's time we seperate. Your very important to the children and I'd like us to try and end this relationship on good terms for the sake of the kids because i don't want them to grow up remembering us fighting all the time. It's important we learn how to be friends because there are going to be many birthdays and eventually graduations, weddings and with time the birth of grandchildren. And i don't want either of us to miss out on these important moments in our childrens lives. I'm sure one day you will find another women and i will try very hard to get along well with her for the sake of the kids and when the time comes I would appreciate the same from you. And wait a month or so before she introduces you to the kids and her ex. It has to be done. What good is love if it is surrounded by deceit?Please help - I need some solid relationship advice!!!?
Everyone has to work on their relationship. Sometimes it can be hard but both the man and woman have to give a little. You should check out this blog: http://winningyouback.blogspot.com
It has a lot of relationship information that has helped me and some of my friends.
Slow down. Ask each other what you need form one antiher and do it in great detail. Have general topoics, but then, in details.
6 months is too soon,. Wait one year.
i agree with leg....... you should wait a year that's how long it takes for the mask to come off but if you are cheating on your spouses you should stop immediately if you remain close with no sex then dig deeper there ac tally be something there then
mayeb you two shoul dthink about your childrens life before you think about destorying theirs
Cold showers.
This is lust not love. Real love that lasts and you can depend on needs time to develop from the first initial attraction. You havent had time only pressure to part which makes it burn hotter, but it wont last and you will do irrevocable hurt.
How can you fall for a school age kid, with kids of her own, then seriously say she's an ideal woman to spend the rest of your life with?
She sounds like she has major issues do you really want to get invloved dragging all sorts of kids along with you?
My advice is despite who is in a relationship and who isnt this situation will not get any easier without honesty. If you are not the one in a relationship and the other person is with the upmost respect I would question if this is genuine or she would rather believe the grass is greener hence how quickly this appears to have moved along with you. If she isnt happy with her current partner and father to her children then she should explore this with him and tell him she isnt happy and wishes to leave. I dont think anyone should stay in a r'ship and be miserable at the same time however I dont think that unhappiness can justify an affair either. It is possible to protect the children from the consequences only if she owns up before it comes out. Both of you having children should not prevent anyone from doing the right thing. I acknowledge how emotions run away with us and no one plans to fall in love. Just think about it and spend time away from one another until she has made her mind up to stay or leave him although you are not the one in a relationship you are still condoning her actions. Take Care wish you well.
Girls, guys, I need a dating/relationship advice!!?
I met this really cute/interesting person I'd like to get know more. She asked me out. I had to say no b/c of work, but I probably said ';no'; in the wrong way (like blowing her off). I asked her (stupid me) if she wanted to come with friends and I on Friday....but said a friend of hers was coming into town. We chatted for an hour...I really, really feel a connection here, and I don't want to miss it. She mentioned once she has a boyfriend, but she put her arm around me / made physical contact .... argh! i don't want to miss such a great opp!!!Girls, guys, I need a dating/relationship advice!!?
you had me till the ';she has a boyfriend'; part. i don't think someone who asks another guy out and chats for an hour and makes physical contact with another guy while she has a boyfriend is a ';great opportunity';. sorry.
you had me till the ';she has a boyfriend'; part. i don't think someone who asks another guy out and chats for an hour and makes physical contact with another guy while she has a boyfriend is a ';great opportunity';. sorry.
My sister is in a BAD relationship! Advice?
My sister is 24 years old with a 2 1/2 year old boy. She got with the father of baby when moved to london few years ago, he beat her black and blue all the time, tied her to chairs and hacked all her hair off! She is not allowed to dress in a provoctive way at all even if its just showing cleavage shes not allowed to talk to men and social services got involved last time. She came to live with me for a few months when her son was born and swore never to see this man againbut she moved back to london when he was 1 year old. I have just found out she is now ';Trying to make things work'; with the babies father he is back in her life and she has told people if her phone is switched off its because she is with the babies father! She hasnt said anything to me yet about it!!!
she has just been signed off the social services watch last month. I havnt told my mum yet and i really dont know what to do about this situatuion
Any advice please ?My sister is in a BAD relationship! Advice?
There is not a whole lot you can do. Get involved, and you risk getting him angry. Don't stay in contact with her, and you risk not knowing what's going on. Depending upon how far away from where she is located, I would just keep a watchful eye.
The thing about situations like this, is you never know when something is going to happen. You never know if today is her last day. And the bad part is, she doesn't understand that she's in a bad situation and that this could end up in death.
If there is anyway you can get social services to keep an eye out, without the couple knowing, then I would contact them again. People like her stay out of fear and out of lack of self-esteem. If you can get in contact with anyone around her, that might be able to help these issues and more...then do so. If it were me, I'd be on a plane in a heartbeat, and I would probably tie her down and drag her back home...but that's just me. I also have men in my family that could handle up on a guy like that, though.
Sometimes women like this need to hear it from another guy. Does she have an old guy friend from High School that she would listen to (could be even more dangerous to have him contact her, though) or is your dad an option? A cousin or uncle, maybe a family member or priest that is a man that makes ';sense'; of these things?'; Does she read...send her the book ';He's Just Not That Into You'; by Greg Behrendt. Or any other book you come across that could open up her eyes to guys like this.My sister is in a BAD relationship! Advice?
Try to get her to call an abused woman's hotline. Maybe she won't listen to advice from her younger sister or mother. Hopefully they can get her to take the necessary steps to free herself from the abuse. She has to want to first, just like any destructive behavior there's only so much a person who wants to help can do.
When a woman is into that situation, I don't know why they are still willing to be treated that way. Your sister is the only one who can help herself nobody else.
but try to tell your mom, maybe she will listen to her.
dont join in troubles you could make it worse or make a mistake.
You need to call the police adn make her realize that he is no good for her!
there's really nothing you can do except be there when she needs you
Seems like she is your elder sis.....so better tell your mom and ask her to solve the problem...
Okey..I have a solution, but that's a little secret..i simply can't reveal here.....may be you should mail me....will tell you in brief...... beleive me that worked for one of my friend....
Just trying to help you.....
First think of the consequences and if you're ok with them, first let your mum know that she your sister has not been online and and that you're worried about the situation, she will give you some advice and if you're still worried, let you're mum know you are still worried and see where it goes from there!
sad:/... well i don't really know what to do...your sister just have to realize that the relationship is bad...try to talk with her how you feel about the whole thing...make her realize the situation
xoxo
just tell herewholesale cosmetics
she has just been signed off the social services watch last month. I havnt told my mum yet and i really dont know what to do about this situatuion
Any advice please ?My sister is in a BAD relationship! Advice?
There is not a whole lot you can do. Get involved, and you risk getting him angry. Don't stay in contact with her, and you risk not knowing what's going on. Depending upon how far away from where she is located, I would just keep a watchful eye.
The thing about situations like this, is you never know when something is going to happen. You never know if today is her last day. And the bad part is, she doesn't understand that she's in a bad situation and that this could end up in death.
If there is anyway you can get social services to keep an eye out, without the couple knowing, then I would contact them again. People like her stay out of fear and out of lack of self-esteem. If you can get in contact with anyone around her, that might be able to help these issues and more...then do so. If it were me, I'd be on a plane in a heartbeat, and I would probably tie her down and drag her back home...but that's just me. I also have men in my family that could handle up on a guy like that, though.
Sometimes women like this need to hear it from another guy. Does she have an old guy friend from High School that she would listen to (could be even more dangerous to have him contact her, though) or is your dad an option? A cousin or uncle, maybe a family member or priest that is a man that makes ';sense'; of these things?'; Does she read...send her the book ';He's Just Not That Into You'; by Greg Behrendt. Or any other book you come across that could open up her eyes to guys like this.My sister is in a BAD relationship! Advice?
Try to get her to call an abused woman's hotline. Maybe she won't listen to advice from her younger sister or mother. Hopefully they can get her to take the necessary steps to free herself from the abuse. She has to want to first, just like any destructive behavior there's only so much a person who wants to help can do.
When a woman is into that situation, I don't know why they are still willing to be treated that way. Your sister is the only one who can help herself nobody else.
but try to tell your mom, maybe she will listen to her.
dont join in troubles you could make it worse or make a mistake.
You need to call the police adn make her realize that he is no good for her!
there's really nothing you can do except be there when she needs you
Seems like she is your elder sis.....so better tell your mom and ask her to solve the problem...
Okey..I have a solution, but that's a little secret..i simply can't reveal here.....may be you should mail me....will tell you in brief...... beleive me that worked for one of my friend....
Just trying to help you.....
First think of the consequences and if you're ok with them, first let your mum know that she your sister has not been online and and that you're worried about the situation, she will give you some advice and if you're still worried, let you're mum know you are still worried and see where it goes from there!
sad:/... well i don't really know what to do...your sister just have to realize that the relationship is bad...try to talk with her how you feel about the whole thing...make her realize the situation
xoxo
just tell here
Help with a problem? (please read!) relationship advice?
Hi guys,
I have recently discovered that I infact like one of closer friends, although were not CLOSE friends, she sure means alot to me.
By close I mean, ....I wouldn't call us best friends ...mm..
We don't share too many of the same interests, but we both like movies, so that's what we do most of the time, we watch movies together at each others houses, or the cinemas, or just go down to the local pub for a drink and play pool.
Recently, I've been thinking about her more and more often, and I know, in the past, (last few months...) she liked me, but decided not to say anything because she didn't think it would work out, and she never said anything..
anyway.. I feel like telling her..
but the thing is, she's ...I'm not sure if I would say in love with, but LIKES one of her friends who lives in another State, very much, and has been travelling back and forth to meet him, and he the same.
I know they're sleeping together, she told me.
%26gt;%26lt; I don't know if I should risk itHelp with a problem? (please read!) relationship advice?
Stay friends for now. If she and the other guy are traveling long distances to sleep together, that relationship may fizzle out after a while. Just be her friend right now and wait and see what happens. Sometimes timing is everything.Help with a problem? (please read!) relationship advice?
HI ...... M glad u said everything clearly. what u got to do is, be calm and play safe. first go speak to her clearly,about everything. M sure she will listen to u. And tell her what u feel about her. Be honest and ul get w3hat u want.
i say you should go for it, you never know, maybe she is the one for you, you shouldn't let this opportunity pass you by. It wont hurt to ask
Alls fair in love and war.....might as well if you like her. You only get one life really and now you see her as more than a friend.....if you dont you will always feel like this...you might always wonder WHAT IF, when your old and grey and she is married and happy if you dont!!!!
If she says no, hey ho, at least you took a risk!!! ';The one thing you regret in life are the risks you didnt take';
It looks like your lost your window of opportunity man. Lets see...she's traveling to another state to see this ';friend'; and sleeping with him, and he's traveling to meet her as well. Don't risk it, don't mess it up for that poor bastard in the next state who figured out he really really liked her way before you.
I would tell her now even though she withs another guy, she may feel the same. But the friend thing might be why you break up. I thought I was in love with my friend, we tried dating and it was just weird, I couldnt kiss him or do anything because he was so close, like family. I told him we were too good of friends when I ended it and now we dont speak. So if I were you I would try to move on, find another and remain friends so you dont ruin the great friendship you have.
wow..thats a hard one..
Well from my pespective you seem pretty close, going over eachothers houses and stuff casually.
Did she say why she didn't think it would work out? Because that is usually just the answer when people want the easy way out-she's avoiding rejection.
Have you being showing signs recently that may make her suspicous that you may like her? Do you flirt at all?
Heh..I like your idea very much. I think that the fact that you are already close to her and you've been hanging out with her for so long sort of give you the rights to try something like that. If you are cute about it (and you sound like you know how to do that), then she won't take it the wrong way and she will definitely go home thinking about the whole thing and about how she feels about you. Give her time and she'll say something about or you will just notice from her reaction what her feelings for you are.
I have recently discovered that I infact like one of closer friends, although were not CLOSE friends, she sure means alot to me.
By close I mean, ....I wouldn't call us best friends ...mm..
We don't share too many of the same interests, but we both like movies, so that's what we do most of the time, we watch movies together at each others houses, or the cinemas, or just go down to the local pub for a drink and play pool.
Recently, I've been thinking about her more and more often, and I know, in the past, (last few months...) she liked me, but decided not to say anything because she didn't think it would work out, and she never said anything..
anyway.. I feel like telling her..
but the thing is, she's ...I'm not sure if I would say in love with, but LIKES one of her friends who lives in another State, very much, and has been travelling back and forth to meet him, and he the same.
I know they're sleeping together, she told me.
%26gt;%26lt; I don't know if I should risk itHelp with a problem? (please read!) relationship advice?
Stay friends for now. If she and the other guy are traveling long distances to sleep together, that relationship may fizzle out after a while. Just be her friend right now and wait and see what happens. Sometimes timing is everything.Help with a problem? (please read!) relationship advice?
HI ...... M glad u said everything clearly. what u got to do is, be calm and play safe. first go speak to her clearly,about everything. M sure she will listen to u. And tell her what u feel about her. Be honest and ul get w3hat u want.
i say you should go for it, you never know, maybe she is the one for you, you shouldn't let this opportunity pass you by. It wont hurt to ask
Alls fair in love and war.....might as well if you like her. You only get one life really and now you see her as more than a friend.....if you dont you will always feel like this...you might always wonder WHAT IF, when your old and grey and she is married and happy if you dont!!!!
If she says no, hey ho, at least you took a risk!!! ';The one thing you regret in life are the risks you didnt take';
It looks like your lost your window of opportunity man. Lets see...she's traveling to another state to see this ';friend'; and sleeping with him, and he's traveling to meet her as well. Don't risk it, don't mess it up for that poor bastard in the next state who figured out he really really liked her way before you.
I would tell her now even though she withs another guy, she may feel the same. But the friend thing might be why you break up. I thought I was in love with my friend, we tried dating and it was just weird, I couldnt kiss him or do anything because he was so close, like family. I told him we were too good of friends when I ended it and now we dont speak. So if I were you I would try to move on, find another and remain friends so you dont ruin the great friendship you have.
wow..thats a hard one..
Well from my pespective you seem pretty close, going over eachothers houses and stuff casually.
Did she say why she didn't think it would work out? Because that is usually just the answer when people want the easy way out-she's avoiding rejection.
Have you being showing signs recently that may make her suspicous that you may like her? Do you flirt at all?
Heh..I like your idea very much. I think that the fact that you are already close to her and you've been hanging out with her for so long sort of give you the rights to try something like that. If you are cute about it (and you sound like you know how to do that), then she won't take it the wrong way and she will definitely go home thinking about the whole thing and about how she feels about you. Give her time and she'll say something about or you will just notice from her reaction what her feelings for you are.
I am in desperate need of relationship advice?!?!?!!!!!?
Kay so we started going out like 3 days ago and we didnt know eacthother well at all like we never ever talked.and the first day and the second day we like didnt talk at all ,and now today we just started to talk like A BIT ??? all we do is say hi and hug , like a g/f and b/f do way more than that . sometimes he says hi to me first and sometimes i say hi to him first. Its better from when we started, but i dont think this is working out that well. Ireallyy need some advice like i really donno what to do! and no answers like ';oh just start a conversation'; like i already no that but this is really complicated. Help ?!?!?!?!!!!!I am in desperate need of relationship advice?!?!?!!!!!?
i think if you two feel so awkward with each other, then its one of those 'not meant to be' occassions. See, if you were meant to be b/f and g/f then you two would be comfortable with each others company...my serious advice is dump him, explain you guys arent compatible...and if he fights to keep you, then you never knowI am in desperate need of relationship advice?!?!?!!!!!?
well go up to him and start talking ask him if he wants to hang out to night or when ever and then go form there. well ask him wut he is doing to night or that night/day. but things should start sparking when you start talking to him.
Good Luck!!
i'd give it until you have been going out a week and if things don't get any better end it. most relationships can be awkward at first i think you just need to get comfortable with each other :)
Just give it some time. Just be patient. He will break out of his shell. Just talk to him and make him feel more comfortable around you.
You guys don't know each other but are gf and bf so it's going to start slow.
I'd say it's progressing normally.
Have more confidence in yourself. Work on your self-esteem.
why are you going out with him if you dont know him.
how about u go on a date and get to know him
you're going out but you've never really talked ??? how does that even happen?
honestly, relationships depend on conversations. If you and your boyfriend are unable to converse with one another, dating is a total waste of time and an excuse to keep the unwanted from asking you out.
Question sweetie: Why are you even dating? HOW are you two dating if yahl never even talk?
And the thing is, it shouldnt be forced. If you have to sit there and brainstorm constantly, trying to figure out what to say, there should be no relationship.
Personally, RELAX.
Friendship has to form before a relationship can.
A comfort around him needs to be developed. But if you two seriously think that yahl like one another, try spending time together. LOTS AND LOTS OF TIME TOGETHER. If sparks ignite, your problem is solved. If not, find someone you don't have to try so hard to be yourself with. I guess it all depends on how much you like this guy.
But good luck sweetheart.
More than likely, its not worth it.
i think if you two feel so awkward with each other, then its one of those 'not meant to be' occassions. See, if you were meant to be b/f and g/f then you two would be comfortable with each others company...my serious advice is dump him, explain you guys arent compatible...and if he fights to keep you, then you never knowI am in desperate need of relationship advice?!?!?!!!!!?
well go up to him and start talking ask him if he wants to hang out to night or when ever and then go form there. well ask him wut he is doing to night or that night/day. but things should start sparking when you start talking to him.
Good Luck!!
i'd give it until you have been going out a week and if things don't get any better end it. most relationships can be awkward at first i think you just need to get comfortable with each other :)
Just give it some time. Just be patient. He will break out of his shell. Just talk to him and make him feel more comfortable around you.
You guys don't know each other but are gf and bf so it's going to start slow.
I'd say it's progressing normally.
Have more confidence in yourself. Work on your self-esteem.
why are you going out with him if you dont know him.
how about u go on a date and get to know him
you're going out but you've never really talked ??? how does that even happen?
honestly, relationships depend on conversations. If you and your boyfriend are unable to converse with one another, dating is a total waste of time and an excuse to keep the unwanted from asking you out.
Question sweetie: Why are you even dating? HOW are you two dating if yahl never even talk?
And the thing is, it shouldnt be forced. If you have to sit there and brainstorm constantly, trying to figure out what to say, there should be no relationship.
Personally, RELAX.
Friendship has to form before a relationship can.
A comfort around him needs to be developed. But if you two seriously think that yahl like one another, try spending time together. LOTS AND LOTS OF TIME TOGETHER. If sparks ignite, your problem is solved. If not, find someone you don't have to try so hard to be yourself with. I guess it all depends on how much you like this guy.
But good luck sweetheart.
More than likely, its not worth it.
Please help - I need some solid relationship advice!!!?
**I ALREADY SUBMITTED THIS QUESTION, BUT I NEEDED TO CLARIFY THAT...
1.) SURPRISE, SURPRISE - I AM A GUY LADIES AND GENTS %26amp; I'M NOT THE ONE IN THE RELATIONSHIP!!!
2.) WE DID NOT MEET AT A CLUB %26amp; WE WERE FAR FROM BEING INTOXICATED IN ANYWAY...
Ok, listen.. I started dating someone 6 mos. ago just 2 mess around %26amp; we got really, REALLY, serious, REALLY FAST!! THIS IS SO CRAZY!! This person has EVERY quality I want/need in a gf/spouse %26amp; vice versa. THE CATCH: This person is dating someone, they have kids together, they're not married %26amp; LOATHE their situation. We can't be 2gether yet for financial reasons %26amp; because she is currently in school. What makes this so hard is we never planned on falling in love AT ALL!! Our minds say ';STOP'; but are hearts won't. We really don't know what to do. People are going to get hurt (regardless). We both have kids and that makes it so much more difficult. We just need some GOOD advice...If one of us were married this would be so much easier...HELP!!Please help - I need some solid relationship advice!!!?
I hate the fact that you guys started fooling around while she was in a relationship with someone else. No matter how much they loathe each other now at one point in time they cared enough about each other to have children. And she will always have this guy in her life because he is her childrens father and they need to have a working friendship so they can raise their kids properly. And if you are going to be a part of her life then you need to be respectful to the fact that he is the father and you are the step father. It only hurts the kids to see the adults in their life fighting. Now because she was dishonest and cheated on him behind his back it's going to make that so much harder to accomplish. He's going to feel hurt, betrayed and embarrassed. With any luck he won't vent onto the kids. You need to come clean to her current partner asap. The longer the betrayal goes on the harder it will be to forgive. Tell your girl to spare his feelings. Ask a friend or family member to babysit the kids so they don't hear any fights. Say something along the lines of. This relationship hasn't been working for a while now and i think it's time we seperate. Your very important to the children and I'd like us to try and end this relationship on good terms for the sake of the kids because i don't want them to grow up remembering us fighting all the time. It's important we learn how to be friends because there are going to be many birthdays and eventually graduations, weddings and with time the birth of grandchildren. And i don't want either of us to miss out on these important moments in our childrens lives. I'm sure one day you will find another women and i will try very hard to get along well with her for the sake of the kids and when the time comes I would appreciate the same from you. And wait a month or so before she introduces you to the kids and her ex. It has to be done. What good is love if it is surrounded by deceit?Please help - I need some solid relationship advice!!!?
Everyone has to work on their relationship. Sometimes it can be hard but both the man and woman have to give a little. You should check out this blog: http://winningyouback.blogspot.com
It has a lot of relationship information that has helped me and some of my friends.
Slow down. Ask each other what you need form one antiher and do it in great detail. Have general topoics, but then, in details.
6 months is too soon,. Wait one year.
i agree with leg....... you should wait a year that's how long it takes for the mask to come off but if you are cheating on your spouses you should stop immediately if you remain close with no sex then dig deeper there ac tally be something there then
mayeb you two shoul dthink about your childrens life before you think about destorying theirs
Cold showers.
This is lust not love. Real love that lasts and you can depend on needs time to develop from the first initial attraction. You havent had time only pressure to part which makes it burn hotter, but it wont last and you will do irrevocable hurt.
How can you fall for a school age kid, with kids of her own, then seriously say she's an ideal woman to spend the rest of your life with?
She sounds like she has major issues do you really want to get invloved dragging all sorts of kids along with you?
My advice is despite who is in a relationship and who isnt this situation will not get any easier without honesty. If you are not the one in a relationship and the other person is with the upmost respect I would question if this is genuine or she would rather believe the grass is greener hence how quickly this appears to have moved along with you. If she isnt happy with her current partner and father to her children then she should explore this with him and tell him she isnt happy and wishes to leave. I dont think anyone should stay in a r'ship and be miserable at the same time however I dont think that unhappiness can justify an affair either. It is possible to protect the children from the consequences only if she owns up before it comes out. Both of you having children should not prevent anyone from doing the right thing. I acknowledge how emotions run away with us and no one plans to fall in love. Just think about it and spend time away from one another until she has made her mind up to stay or leave him although you are not the one in a relationship you are still condoning her actions. Take Care wish you well.
1.) SURPRISE, SURPRISE - I AM A GUY LADIES AND GENTS %26amp; I'M NOT THE ONE IN THE RELATIONSHIP!!!
2.) WE DID NOT MEET AT A CLUB %26amp; WE WERE FAR FROM BEING INTOXICATED IN ANYWAY...
Ok, listen.. I started dating someone 6 mos. ago just 2 mess around %26amp; we got really, REALLY, serious, REALLY FAST!! THIS IS SO CRAZY!! This person has EVERY quality I want/need in a gf/spouse %26amp; vice versa. THE CATCH: This person is dating someone, they have kids together, they're not married %26amp; LOATHE their situation. We can't be 2gether yet for financial reasons %26amp; because she is currently in school. What makes this so hard is we never planned on falling in love AT ALL!! Our minds say ';STOP'; but are hearts won't. We really don't know what to do. People are going to get hurt (regardless). We both have kids and that makes it so much more difficult. We just need some GOOD advice...If one of us were married this would be so much easier...HELP!!Please help - I need some solid relationship advice!!!?
I hate the fact that you guys started fooling around while she was in a relationship with someone else. No matter how much they loathe each other now at one point in time they cared enough about each other to have children. And she will always have this guy in her life because he is her childrens father and they need to have a working friendship so they can raise their kids properly. And if you are going to be a part of her life then you need to be respectful to the fact that he is the father and you are the step father. It only hurts the kids to see the adults in their life fighting. Now because she was dishonest and cheated on him behind his back it's going to make that so much harder to accomplish. He's going to feel hurt, betrayed and embarrassed. With any luck he won't vent onto the kids. You need to come clean to her current partner asap. The longer the betrayal goes on the harder it will be to forgive. Tell your girl to spare his feelings. Ask a friend or family member to babysit the kids so they don't hear any fights. Say something along the lines of. This relationship hasn't been working for a while now and i think it's time we seperate. Your very important to the children and I'd like us to try and end this relationship on good terms for the sake of the kids because i don't want them to grow up remembering us fighting all the time. It's important we learn how to be friends because there are going to be many birthdays and eventually graduations, weddings and with time the birth of grandchildren. And i don't want either of us to miss out on these important moments in our childrens lives. I'm sure one day you will find another women and i will try very hard to get along well with her for the sake of the kids and when the time comes I would appreciate the same from you. And wait a month or so before she introduces you to the kids and her ex. It has to be done. What good is love if it is surrounded by deceit?Please help - I need some solid relationship advice!!!?
Everyone has to work on their relationship. Sometimes it can be hard but both the man and woman have to give a little. You should check out this blog: http://winningyouback.blogspot.com
It has a lot of relationship information that has helped me and some of my friends.
Slow down. Ask each other what you need form one antiher and do it in great detail. Have general topoics, but then, in details.
6 months is too soon,. Wait one year.
i agree with leg....... you should wait a year that's how long it takes for the mask to come off but if you are cheating on your spouses you should stop immediately if you remain close with no sex then dig deeper there ac tally be something there then
mayeb you two shoul dthink about your childrens life before you think about destorying theirs
Cold showers.
This is lust not love. Real love that lasts and you can depend on needs time to develop from the first initial attraction. You havent had time only pressure to part which makes it burn hotter, but it wont last and you will do irrevocable hurt.
How can you fall for a school age kid, with kids of her own, then seriously say she's an ideal woman to spend the rest of your life with?
She sounds like she has major issues do you really want to get invloved dragging all sorts of kids along with you?
My advice is despite who is in a relationship and who isnt this situation will not get any easier without honesty. If you are not the one in a relationship and the other person is with the upmost respect I would question if this is genuine or she would rather believe the grass is greener hence how quickly this appears to have moved along with you. If she isnt happy with her current partner and father to her children then she should explore this with him and tell him she isnt happy and wishes to leave. I dont think anyone should stay in a r'ship and be miserable at the same time however I dont think that unhappiness can justify an affair either. It is possible to protect the children from the consequences only if she owns up before it comes out. Both of you having children should not prevent anyone from doing the right thing. I acknowledge how emotions run away with us and no one plans to fall in love. Just think about it and spend time away from one another until she has made her mind up to stay or leave him although you are not the one in a relationship you are still condoning her actions. Take Care wish you well.
I've never been more confused. Relationship advice.?
Ok yesterday I started texting this guy I really like let's call him Napoleon.I told him my name and he then said he remembered bumping into me at the liqueur store. I did not remember this. I kept talking to him though and we stayed up till 3 am texting. The problem is im not sure he rely knows who I am becuz he knows I like him and i was surprised he even texted back when i told him my name. Now today I talked to Napoleons friend let's call him Edmund who is also my friend. I told him about how I kept texting Napoleon last nite( he also knows I like Napoleon) and anyways then I try to guess who Edmund likes and turns out he likes me and he's liked me since february. I like Napoleon a lot but Edmund is also really nice at times. Even though he's really weird sometimes. My friends are kinda mean to him and when he's with me he's actually nice and funny. I don't no wat to do. I feel so lost help!!
Should I go out with Edmund or wait for Napoleon?I've never been more confused. Relationship advice.?
well darlin,
id say Edmund because he seems sweet and would turn on you
Napolean just seems like hes tryin out a booty caall
honey id say edmund
Should I go out with Edmund or wait for Napoleon?I've never been more confused. Relationship advice.?
well darlin,
id say Edmund because he seems sweet and would turn on you
Napolean just seems like hes tryin out a booty caall
honey id say edmund
Girls, guys, I need a dating/relationship advice!!?
I met this really cute/interesting person I'd like to get know more. She asked me out. I had to say no b/c of work, but I probably said ';no'; in the wrong way (like blowing her off). I asked her (stupid me) if she wanted to come with friends and I on Friday....but said a friend of hers was coming into town. We chatted for an hour...I really, really feel a connection here, and I don't want to miss it. She mentioned once she has a boyfriend, but she put her arm around me / made physical contact .... argh! i don't want to miss such a great opp!!!Girls, guys, I need a dating/relationship advice!!?
you had me till the ';she has a boyfriend'; part. i don't think someone who asks another guy out and chats for an hour and makes physical contact with another guy while she has a boyfriend is a ';great opportunity';. sorry.
you had me till the ';she has a boyfriend'; part. i don't think someone who asks another guy out and chats for an hour and makes physical contact with another guy while she has a boyfriend is a ';great opportunity';. sorry.
My sister is in a BAD relationship! Advice?
My sister is 24 years old with a 2 1/2 year old boy. She got with the father of baby when moved to london few years ago, he beat her black and blue all the time, tied her to chairs and hacked all her hair off! She is not allowed to dress in a provoctive way at all even if its just showing cleavage shes not allowed to talk to men and social services got involved last time. She came to live with me for a few months when her son was born and swore never to see this man againbut she moved back to london when he was 1 year old. I have just found out she is now ';Trying to make things work'; with the babies father he is back in her life and she has told people if her phone is switched off its because she is with the babies father! She hasnt said anything to me yet about it!!!
she has just been signed off the social services watch last month. I havnt told my mum yet and i really dont know what to do about this situatuion
Any advice please ?My sister is in a BAD relationship! Advice?
sad:/... well i don't really know what to do...your sister just have to realize that the relationship is bad...try to talk with her how you feel about the whole thing...make her realize the situation
xoxoMy sister is in a BAD relationship! Advice?
Try to get her to call an abused woman's hotline. Maybe she won't listen to advice from her younger sister or mother. Hopefully they can get her to take the necessary steps to free herself from the abuse. She has to want to first, just like any destructive behavior there's only so much a person who wants to help can do.
just tell here
There is not a whole lot you can do. Get involved, and you risk getting him angry. Don't stay in contact with her, and you risk not knowing what's going on. Depending upon how far away from where she is located, I would just keep a watchful eye.
The thing about situations like this, is you never know when something is going to happen. You never know if today is her last day. And the bad part is, she doesn't understand that she's in a bad situation and that this could end up in death.
If there is anyway you can get social services to keep an eye out, without the couple knowing, then I would contact them again. People like her stay out of fear and out of lack of self-esteem. If you can get in contact with anyone around her, that might be able to help these issues and more...then do so. If it were me, I'd be on a plane in a heartbeat, and I would probably tie her down and drag her back home...but that's just me. I also have men in my family that could handle up on a guy like that, though.
Sometimes women like this need to hear it from another guy. Does she have an old guy friend from High School that she would listen to (could be even more dangerous to have him contact her, though) or is your dad an option? A cousin or uncle, maybe a family member or priest that is a man that makes ';sense'; of these things?'; Does she read...send her the book ';He's Just Not That Into You'; by Greg Behrendt. Or any other book you come across that could open up her eyes to guys like this.
there's really nothing you can do except be there when she needs you
First think of the consequences and if you're ok with them, first let your mum know that she your sister has not been online and and that you're worried about the situation, she will give you some advice and if you're still worried, let you're mum know you are still worried and see where it goes from there!
Seems like she is your elder sis.....so better tell your mom and ask her to solve the problem...
Okey..I have a solution, but that's a little secret..i simply can't reveal here.....may be you should mail me....will tell you in brief...... beleive me that worked for one of my friend....
Just trying to help you.....
You need to call the police adn make her realize that he is no good for her!
When a woman is into that situation, I don't know why they are still willing to be treated that way. Your sister is the only one who can help herself nobody else.
but try to tell your mom, maybe she will listen to her.
dont join in troubles you could make it worse or make a mistake.acne prescription
she has just been signed off the social services watch last month. I havnt told my mum yet and i really dont know what to do about this situatuion
Any advice please ?My sister is in a BAD relationship! Advice?
sad:/... well i don't really know what to do...your sister just have to realize that the relationship is bad...try to talk with her how you feel about the whole thing...make her realize the situation
xoxoMy sister is in a BAD relationship! Advice?
Try to get her to call an abused woman's hotline. Maybe she won't listen to advice from her younger sister or mother. Hopefully they can get her to take the necessary steps to free herself from the abuse. She has to want to first, just like any destructive behavior there's only so much a person who wants to help can do.
just tell here
There is not a whole lot you can do. Get involved, and you risk getting him angry. Don't stay in contact with her, and you risk not knowing what's going on. Depending upon how far away from where she is located, I would just keep a watchful eye.
The thing about situations like this, is you never know when something is going to happen. You never know if today is her last day. And the bad part is, she doesn't understand that she's in a bad situation and that this could end up in death.
If there is anyway you can get social services to keep an eye out, without the couple knowing, then I would contact them again. People like her stay out of fear and out of lack of self-esteem. If you can get in contact with anyone around her, that might be able to help these issues and more...then do so. If it were me, I'd be on a plane in a heartbeat, and I would probably tie her down and drag her back home...but that's just me. I also have men in my family that could handle up on a guy like that, though.
Sometimes women like this need to hear it from another guy. Does she have an old guy friend from High School that she would listen to (could be even more dangerous to have him contact her, though) or is your dad an option? A cousin or uncle, maybe a family member or priest that is a man that makes ';sense'; of these things?'; Does she read...send her the book ';He's Just Not That Into You'; by Greg Behrendt. Or any other book you come across that could open up her eyes to guys like this.
there's really nothing you can do except be there when she needs you
First think of the consequences and if you're ok with them, first let your mum know that she your sister has not been online and and that you're worried about the situation, she will give you some advice and if you're still worried, let you're mum know you are still worried and see where it goes from there!
Seems like she is your elder sis.....so better tell your mom and ask her to solve the problem...
Okey..I have a solution, but that's a little secret..i simply can't reveal here.....may be you should mail me....will tell you in brief...... beleive me that worked for one of my friend....
Just trying to help you.....
You need to call the police adn make her realize that he is no good for her!
When a woman is into that situation, I don't know why they are still willing to be treated that way. Your sister is the only one who can help herself nobody else.
but try to tell your mom, maybe she will listen to her.
dont join in troubles you could make it worse or make a mistake.
Help with a problem? (please read!) relationship advice?
Hi guys,
I have recently discovered that I infact like one of closer friends, although were not CLOSE friends, she sure means alot to me.
By close I mean, ....I wouldn't call us best friends ...mm..
We don't share too many of the same interests, but we both like movies, so that's what we do most of the time, we watch movies together at each others houses, or the cinemas, or just go down to the local pub for a drink and play pool.
Recently, I've been thinking about her more and more often, and I know, in the past, (last few months...) she liked me, but decided not to say anything because she didn't think it would work out, and she never said anything..
anyway.. I feel like telling her..
but the thing is, she's ...I'm not sure if I would say in love with, but LIKES one of her friends who lives in another State, very much, and has been travelling back and forth to meet him, and he the same.
I know they're sleeping together, she told me.
%26gt;%26lt; I don't know if I should risk itHelp with a problem? (please read!) relationship advice?
Stay friends for now. If she and the other guy are traveling long distances to sleep together, that relationship may fizzle out after a while. Just be her friend right now and wait and see what happens. Sometimes timing is everything.Help with a problem? (please read!) relationship advice?
HI ...... M glad u said everything clearly. what u got to do is, be calm and play safe. first go speak to her clearly,about everything. M sure she will listen to u. And tell her what u feel about her. Be honest and ul get w3hat u want.
i say you should go for it, you never know, maybe she is the one for you, you shouldn't let this opportunity pass you by. It wont hurt to ask
Alls fair in love and war.....might as well if you like her. You only get one life really and now you see her as more than a friend.....if you dont you will always feel like this...you might always wonder WHAT IF, when your old and grey and she is married and happy if you dont!!!!
If she says no, hey ho, at least you took a risk!!! ';The one thing you regret in life are the risks you didnt take';
It looks like your lost your window of opportunity man. Lets see...she's traveling to another state to see this ';friend'; and sleeping with him, and he's traveling to meet her as well. Don't risk it, don't mess it up for that poor bastard in the next state who figured out he really really liked her way before you.
I would tell her now even though she withs another guy, she may feel the same. But the friend thing might be why you break up. I thought I was in love with my friend, we tried dating and it was just weird, I couldnt kiss him or do anything because he was so close, like family. I told him we were too good of friends when I ended it and now we dont speak. So if I were you I would try to move on, find another and remain friends so you dont ruin the great friendship you have.
wow..thats a hard one..
Well from my pespective you seem pretty close, going over eachothers houses and stuff casually.
Did she say why she didn't think it would work out? Because that is usually just the answer when people want the easy way out-she's avoiding rejection.
Have you being showing signs recently that may make her suspicous that you may like her? Do you flirt at all?
Heh..I like your idea very much. I think that the fact that you are already close to her and you've been hanging out with her for so long sort of give you the rights to try something like that. If you are cute about it (and you sound like you know how to do that), then she won't take it the wrong way and she will definitely go home thinking about the whole thing and about how she feels about you. Give her time and she'll say something about or you will just notice from her reaction what her feelings for you are.
I have recently discovered that I infact like one of closer friends, although were not CLOSE friends, she sure means alot to me.
By close I mean, ....I wouldn't call us best friends ...mm..
We don't share too many of the same interests, but we both like movies, so that's what we do most of the time, we watch movies together at each others houses, or the cinemas, or just go down to the local pub for a drink and play pool.
Recently, I've been thinking about her more and more often, and I know, in the past, (last few months...) she liked me, but decided not to say anything because she didn't think it would work out, and she never said anything..
anyway.. I feel like telling her..
but the thing is, she's ...I'm not sure if I would say in love with, but LIKES one of her friends who lives in another State, very much, and has been travelling back and forth to meet him, and he the same.
I know they're sleeping together, she told me.
%26gt;%26lt; I don't know if I should risk itHelp with a problem? (please read!) relationship advice?
Stay friends for now. If she and the other guy are traveling long distances to sleep together, that relationship may fizzle out after a while. Just be her friend right now and wait and see what happens. Sometimes timing is everything.Help with a problem? (please read!) relationship advice?
HI ...... M glad u said everything clearly. what u got to do is, be calm and play safe. first go speak to her clearly,about everything. M sure she will listen to u. And tell her what u feel about her. Be honest and ul get w3hat u want.
i say you should go for it, you never know, maybe she is the one for you, you shouldn't let this opportunity pass you by. It wont hurt to ask
Alls fair in love and war.....might as well if you like her. You only get one life really and now you see her as more than a friend.....if you dont you will always feel like this...you might always wonder WHAT IF, when your old and grey and she is married and happy if you dont!!!!
If she says no, hey ho, at least you took a risk!!! ';The one thing you regret in life are the risks you didnt take';
It looks like your lost your window of opportunity man. Lets see...she's traveling to another state to see this ';friend'; and sleeping with him, and he's traveling to meet her as well. Don't risk it, don't mess it up for that poor bastard in the next state who figured out he really really liked her way before you.
I would tell her now even though she withs another guy, she may feel the same. But the friend thing might be why you break up. I thought I was in love with my friend, we tried dating and it was just weird, I couldnt kiss him or do anything because he was so close, like family. I told him we were too good of friends when I ended it and now we dont speak. So if I were you I would try to move on, find another and remain friends so you dont ruin the great friendship you have.
wow..thats a hard one..
Well from my pespective you seem pretty close, going over eachothers houses and stuff casually.
Did she say why she didn't think it would work out? Because that is usually just the answer when people want the easy way out-she's avoiding rejection.
Have you being showing signs recently that may make her suspicous that you may like her? Do you flirt at all?
Heh..I like your idea very much. I think that the fact that you are already close to her and you've been hanging out with her for so long sort of give you the rights to try something like that. If you are cute about it (and you sound like you know how to do that), then she won't take it the wrong way and she will definitely go home thinking about the whole thing and about how she feels about you. Give her time and she'll say something about or you will just notice from her reaction what her feelings for you are.
Feel like an idiot asking for relationship advice but...?
So, I haven't been in a serious relationship for a little over a year now, it's been nice I guess, I have been casually dating and just enjoying life. About a month ago I met up with a guy I knew 5 years ago, but we were young and dumb back then so nothing worked out w/ us. Now, however, we started hanging out more, going out a couple of times a week, constant calls and text messages, etc. Our relationship seems to be going somewhere, but it's already been a month and we haven't even as much as hugged yet! Is this normal? LOL. At first I was happy that we weren't rushing into things...but now I'm wondering is anything going to happen at all? Is it good or bad when guys are taking things this slow?? We really enjoy each other's company, laugh a lot, but I wonder if he just wants to be friends? This has never happened before, usually men jump at the first chance they get and don't wait for anything...so any input, advice??? And sorry if this question seems so juvenille, I'm just curiousFeel like an idiot asking for relationship advice but...?
There is absolutely NOTHING! wrong with this . Taking things slow is the best thing you guys can do ...You have already talked in the past Now is the time for catching up. What you been up to where you been ..... how you do things... THis is the perfect time for observation!. He new you then ... but for the most part people change. Since you both seem to have such a good relationship HE Prolly wants to make things right... No mistakes... And wants to make sure you feel the same way before he jumps into dark waters. Drop him some hints ... get Flirty with him. IT sounds like you are a great person . I dont think he will let you pass by. Constant Text messages are just a way of letting you know you are on his mind... That is what you want... You have been single for a year .... a little longer will only Ensure your happiness! Go get your man girly! Sounds to me you are meant to be!Feel like an idiot asking for relationship advice but...?
He keeps coming around you but is moving too slow???
He's interested!!! My best advice to you is go slow yourself!!!
really get to know each other well. Some of the best marriages in the world start out with ';just being friends';.
It has only been a month.
If nothing has happened in three months, then it is time to start meeting other friends as well as keeping this friend.
Then after six months, if nothing has happened, nothing ever will!!! And you will have a fun friend to hang out with!!!
Good luck and may God bless you.
Some men wait for the woman to make the first move because they think the girl just may want to be friends, so they're standoffish until they're sure you're attracted to them.
This is perfectly normal, so no need to feel foolish. Remember that relationships exist on a number of levels, mental, physical, emotional, social, etc. When you go out a couple of times per week, is it just you and him, or a larger group of friends? He may be trying to insulate himself from making a move on you, or you making a move on him. Did the earlier relationship end badly? Did he choose someone else over you, or did you choose someone else over him? If you chose someone else, he might not think you are that interested in him. If he chose someone else before, he might not be that into you, and might do so again. The only way you are really going to know is to do two things: put the liplock on him, and then ask him what he would like to happen between the two of you. It may just be a booty call. So go carefully, and don't expect too much. But ask, or you will never know.
i don't usually give advice to chicks but here it goes
just be yourself and you'll be fine
there how was that
It could be alot of things.Maybe he was hurt before.Maybe he doesn't think you want to take things further.Just ask him.If you can't do it in person send him a text message and ask him where it's going?Good luck
breath young lady! breath! this is the best thing that has ever happened to you! read your question and you'll see what i mean...have fun and enjoy the
slow beautiful walk into a great and beautifully strong relationship, the man respects u,,,,and more...much more
Why are you waiting for him girl...make the move! It is the only way you will know, what harm can a kiss do?
this is not a juvenille question. it is a good that he is taking things slow bc it means that he actually cares about who you are and doesn't just want you so he can show you off or something like that. This is where it gets confusing. Now you cant tell whether or not he likes you or if he just wants to be friends. Talk to him and get to c if you can get a hint on whether or not he likes you. Just bc you guys haven't hugged doesn.t mean that he does'nt like you he is just still thinking on whether or not he's redy to be with you. Take your time. Don't rush into this. Enjoy your time with him. You never know what could be your last moment.
i know how u are feeling right now, been thru done that.
if that realli concern u, why dont u ask him casually, do u guys have the chance to move a step forward? if u r too shy to ask it face to face, texting would be gd too.
from my personal experience waiting can be nice but if you wait too long things might get awkward so you just have to decide if you guys will be able to withstand that
I'm in the exact same position as you and you know what?...I'm luvin' it! It's not that he's moving slow (u either), it's just that you guys are going with the flow and enjoying each others company. Eventually, you guys will get together...just don't rush it...wait for the right time. He already likes you or else he wouldn't be spending his time doing little things, like sending cute text msgs (because i know he is...;-)
Besides.....this isn't high school anymore. We're getting older and patience is more appreciated nowadays. Don't worry, things are going the way it should be....and your question isn't juvenile....you guys will work out.
:-)
I have heard of taking it slow, but come on... not even a hug?? I think you should talk to him and ask him how he feels about you: if he thinks of you as just a friend or as more than that. If he says he just likes you as a friend, then you know why he is acting that way. If he wants to be more, then tell him that he's taking it a little too slow.
Yeah, let him set the pace. The slower the relationship goes, the longer it'll last. Unless it just doesn't work out at all.
its good that guys are taking everything slow and easy is not good to jump to conclusion as u know. get to know this guy better and he probably just want to get use to things so waitt awhile stay friends at put
did you say you guys haven't even hugged yet? like you guys have not hugged when meeting up or saying good bye?
if that's the case, extend your arms out and hug the guy at said instances and keep the hug a little longer than you would with a ';friend.';
when people spend so much time doing what you guys are doing, it only means there is interest between the two.
going slow is good. you don't make rash decisions and make mistakes you later regret.
no. this question is not juvenile.
Guy prob thinks you're gonna dump him if he makes a move - you gotta make it.
This guys wants a relationship with you but he's just taking it slow being as all that stuff happened in the pass.You can know a guy likes you by the constant calls.Just go with the flow and pace.
Lol, well it looks like you might've met a keeper! He probably doesn't want to jump into things cause he wants to keep you around for a long time. Just go with the flow and sooner or later you'll recieve the first kiss, sigh* hope you don't have to wait too long!
I think he is just thinking like you, he doesn't know if he should say anything because he doesn't want to ruin anything or make you feel like you have to be with him, I use to be like that, what you should do is just get it over with and have a casual conversation at somewhere where you can both relax.
Just talk aobut it because trust me it is better to know, and just get it done, like ripping a plaster off!
it would probably be a good thing because then you know that he isn't shallow and that he has a heart he really cares about you and wants to get to know you more first
Maybe he has had some relationship problems in his past and wants to take it slow and get to know you better first. Enjoy it while you can because men like that are far and few. Good luck.
go for it tell him how ur feeling and see if he feels the same tell him u realize that 5 years ago u where younger an not so lucky at the time for it to work for u tell him but we seem to enjoy each other alot now and i would like to know should we keep taking this slow or should we go a step forward.but as i once said he will be urs by taking ur time
There is absolutely NOTHING! wrong with this . Taking things slow is the best thing you guys can do ...You have already talked in the past Now is the time for catching up. What you been up to where you been ..... how you do things... THis is the perfect time for observation!. He new you then ... but for the most part people change. Since you both seem to have such a good relationship HE Prolly wants to make things right... No mistakes... And wants to make sure you feel the same way before he jumps into dark waters. Drop him some hints ... get Flirty with him. IT sounds like you are a great person . I dont think he will let you pass by. Constant Text messages are just a way of letting you know you are on his mind... That is what you want... You have been single for a year .... a little longer will only Ensure your happiness! Go get your man girly! Sounds to me you are meant to be!Feel like an idiot asking for relationship advice but...?
He keeps coming around you but is moving too slow???
He's interested!!! My best advice to you is go slow yourself!!!
really get to know each other well. Some of the best marriages in the world start out with ';just being friends';.
It has only been a month.
If nothing has happened in three months, then it is time to start meeting other friends as well as keeping this friend.
Then after six months, if nothing has happened, nothing ever will!!! And you will have a fun friend to hang out with!!!
Good luck and may God bless you.
Some men wait for the woman to make the first move because they think the girl just may want to be friends, so they're standoffish until they're sure you're attracted to them.
This is perfectly normal, so no need to feel foolish. Remember that relationships exist on a number of levels, mental, physical, emotional, social, etc. When you go out a couple of times per week, is it just you and him, or a larger group of friends? He may be trying to insulate himself from making a move on you, or you making a move on him. Did the earlier relationship end badly? Did he choose someone else over you, or did you choose someone else over him? If you chose someone else, he might not think you are that interested in him. If he chose someone else before, he might not be that into you, and might do so again. The only way you are really going to know is to do two things: put the liplock on him, and then ask him what he would like to happen between the two of you. It may just be a booty call. So go carefully, and don't expect too much. But ask, or you will never know.
i don't usually give advice to chicks but here it goes
just be yourself and you'll be fine
there how was that
It could be alot of things.Maybe he was hurt before.Maybe he doesn't think you want to take things further.Just ask him.If you can't do it in person send him a text message and ask him where it's going?Good luck
breath young lady! breath! this is the best thing that has ever happened to you! read your question and you'll see what i mean...have fun and enjoy the
slow beautiful walk into a great and beautifully strong relationship, the man respects u,,,,and more...much more
Why are you waiting for him girl...make the move! It is the only way you will know, what harm can a kiss do?
this is not a juvenille question. it is a good that he is taking things slow bc it means that he actually cares about who you are and doesn't just want you so he can show you off or something like that. This is where it gets confusing. Now you cant tell whether or not he likes you or if he just wants to be friends. Talk to him and get to c if you can get a hint on whether or not he likes you. Just bc you guys haven't hugged doesn.t mean that he does'nt like you he is just still thinking on whether or not he's redy to be with you. Take your time. Don't rush into this. Enjoy your time with him. You never know what could be your last moment.
i know how u are feeling right now, been thru done that.
if that realli concern u, why dont u ask him casually, do u guys have the chance to move a step forward? if u r too shy to ask it face to face, texting would be gd too.
from my personal experience waiting can be nice but if you wait too long things might get awkward so you just have to decide if you guys will be able to withstand that
I'm in the exact same position as you and you know what?...I'm luvin' it! It's not that he's moving slow (u either), it's just that you guys are going with the flow and enjoying each others company. Eventually, you guys will get together...just don't rush it...wait for the right time. He already likes you or else he wouldn't be spending his time doing little things, like sending cute text msgs (because i know he is...;-)
Besides.....this isn't high school anymore. We're getting older and patience is more appreciated nowadays. Don't worry, things are going the way it should be....and your question isn't juvenile....you guys will work out.
:-)
I have heard of taking it slow, but come on... not even a hug?? I think you should talk to him and ask him how he feels about you: if he thinks of you as just a friend or as more than that. If he says he just likes you as a friend, then you know why he is acting that way. If he wants to be more, then tell him that he's taking it a little too slow.
Yeah, let him set the pace. The slower the relationship goes, the longer it'll last. Unless it just doesn't work out at all.
its good that guys are taking everything slow and easy is not good to jump to conclusion as u know. get to know this guy better and he probably just want to get use to things so waitt awhile stay friends at put
did you say you guys haven't even hugged yet? like you guys have not hugged when meeting up or saying good bye?
if that's the case, extend your arms out and hug the guy at said instances and keep the hug a little longer than you would with a ';friend.';
when people spend so much time doing what you guys are doing, it only means there is interest between the two.
going slow is good. you don't make rash decisions and make mistakes you later regret.
no. this question is not juvenile.
Guy prob thinks you're gonna dump him if he makes a move - you gotta make it.
This guys wants a relationship with you but he's just taking it slow being as all that stuff happened in the pass.You can know a guy likes you by the constant calls.Just go with the flow and pace.
Lol, well it looks like you might've met a keeper! He probably doesn't want to jump into things cause he wants to keep you around for a long time. Just go with the flow and sooner or later you'll recieve the first kiss, sigh* hope you don't have to wait too long!
I think he is just thinking like you, he doesn't know if he should say anything because he doesn't want to ruin anything or make you feel like you have to be with him, I use to be like that, what you should do is just get it over with and have a casual conversation at somewhere where you can both relax.
Just talk aobut it because trust me it is better to know, and just get it done, like ripping a plaster off!
it would probably be a good thing because then you know that he isn't shallow and that he has a heart he really cares about you and wants to get to know you more first
Maybe he has had some relationship problems in his past and wants to take it slow and get to know you better first. Enjoy it while you can because men like that are far and few. Good luck.
go for it tell him how ur feeling and see if he feels the same tell him u realize that 5 years ago u where younger an not so lucky at the time for it to work for u tell him but we seem to enjoy each other alot now and i would like to know should we keep taking this slow or should we go a step forward.but as i once said he will be urs by taking ur time
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