If you have any sage relationship advice - your help is needed. It's 1 am and I need some peace. Can you help

I don't usually do this but I asked a question and got some really great answers. But I lied. I posed as a man asking the question when in reality it was me. I asked the question in this way to get the other side of the coin, so to speak. My husband can't understand why I would be upset with his new female friend so I posed the question as if I were him. It is basically the conversation we had today about why it was not ok for him to have a friendship with her. Any additional answers would be great as I am going to email this to him so he can see I did not ask a whiny question but tried to ask from his point of view. I have read some of the most wonderful answers and hope to get a few more. This is a gut wrenching experience and my 'friends' here on YAHOO have been very supportive. So, to avoid not asking a real question you can also answer this: Will you help me out?http://answers.yahoo.com/question/?qid=20080713194215AAUr4MDIf you have any sage relationship advice - your help is needed. It's 1 am and I need some peace. Can you help
I'm not proud of this, but I had an affair with a married man once upon a time. This is exactly how it started.





nyc%26amp;wine is RIGHT ON. (below)If you have any sage relationship advice - your help is needed. It's 1 am and I need some peace. Can you help
Hi, I've been reading your questions following the situation.





I hope it all works out... Would love to hear how it goes for you.





Wishing you all the best,


A
I am going to suggest a new approach. I have learned (through personal experience) that men do not do well when woman are trying to ';convince'; them of something. I think your heart is in the right place w the email post, but I don't know if he will see it this way. He will view you as insecure, not trusting and WAY too focused on his life. Your best bet may be to detach a bit emotionally. The reality is that he is going to do what he wants to do and your best defense is just to (as difficult as if may be) to stop giving attention to it because it shows you are focusing on him and not you. Hint: Confidence is an aphrodesiac.





Men love the chase right, so if he is playing this game (and he is playing a game by not setting appropriate boundaries w/ this co-worker and by yes, telling you about it) Face it, he is getting off on having two women gush over him.





Find a male friend of your own (at work, on line, where ever), get a makeover, buy a new perfume, take a class (extreme sports are great! you get a natural high from the elation and risk is very sexy to men), start going out more and blow him off for a bit and he is much more likely to come around.





When men start to see changes in a woman they automatically begin to wonder why and often become interested in searching for the reason as to what prompted these changes. I know men say they don't like games, but the reality is that they do. Most still love intervals of the chase and excitement. The allure of this other woman is that he gets persue something he does not have. Wouldn't you prefer that to be you?





Don't chase him, make him fight for you again and I really suggest not trying to convince him as I have yet to see that work as a long term solution





Best of my luck to you!
A husband doesn't need to be so tight with a woman he is working with. It can easily lead into other things...