Saturday, July 31, 2010

Question about my girlfriend and our relationship. Advice, support needed. Please see details?

Here's my story. Sorry for the length but I need to fully explain it:





About a year ago I was hired as a temp at an accounting firm. I was single at the time. There was a manager there who was also single. She was nice and really cute, however there's a big age difference between us. She's 42 and I'm 28. Anyway, we would talk and flirt but I never thought of pursing it. On my last day there she said ';this may be completely inappropriate but would you be interested in being my guest to a wedding in a few weeks.'; I thought, hey what do I have to lose, so I went with her. We had a great time, she was a lot of fun, so we hung out again. A few weeks later we began dating. I never thought it was going to be long term because of the age difference but she was really fun to be with and she's really attractive for her age, so I thought I'd just have fun while it lasted. My ultimate goal however was to eventually meet someone aroung my own age, get married, have kids and do the whole familyQuestion about my girlfriend and our relationship. Advice, support needed. Please see details?
This isn't going to make your life harder- it's going to be a gift! So you didn't PLAN on it, okay, I get that. But you're going to be a FATHER. That is an amazing feat in itself.





It is entirely possible for a 42 year old woman to get pregnant. Menopause often doesn't begin until mid to late 40's. Although, there is a greater incidence of complications in pregnancy for woman over 40.





Please do NOT think of this child as 'baggage.' Sex=reproduction. Quite frankly, if you were not intending on getting pregnant, you certainly should have discussed birth control. Take this for what it's worth- you're going to have a child, and that child will without a doubt be the BEST thing that has ever happend to you. It seems extremely overwhelming right now, but trust me. Once you look into that baby's eyes, your entire body is going to melt.





That being said, does this woman know how you feel about the relationship? It's not fair to her to just stay in it for the fun if she see's a potential for it to go somewhere. And don't just stay together for the sake of the baby. An unhappy union of parents can provide a worse lifestyle than single parents.





Good luck, and try not to panic. This happened for a reason, and that will be clear to you once your child is born.Question about my girlfriend and our relationship. Advice, support needed. Please see details?
My mother was 40 when she had me, so yes. Good for you for stepping up and being responsible!
well first off i could understand why you would be shooken up but you had sex without a condom and yes women can get pregnant in there 40's
Hmm that's a tough one. I really don't think the age difference thing matters much once you reach a certain age. It just depends on if you're on the same level. Is it possible that you're focusing too much on the age difference? It seems like you two are getting along really well, maybe things could develop into love? Sounds like you've been dating for awhile. I mean the moral of the story is that you should've had protection if you weren't planning on sticking together but it's a little late for that. It seems like she's being really open about it though, so really it boils down to seeing if it works out. So what if she's older, give it a chance? It's not like you have to marry her now.. but your life will be tied into hers with a kid. Good luck :)
You are dumb, of course a 42 year old can get pregnant without drugs. If you didn't want a kid with her, you should have talked about birth control.
Your in quite the pickle......but for the record you can get pregnant at any age with out fertility drugs sometimes it is just harder to get pregnant as you age, ny aunt got pregnant at 48 (but lost the baby) she did it ';au natural'; as for your family your a grown man you are just going to have to tell them, a child with another women is not going to ruin your life or your ';plans if you love her then marry her, if not then stay in touch with your child and move on there are lots of women (your age) that are willing to start a family with a man in your situation. Good Luck!
Women can get pregnant until they are through menopause which she probably has not started yet. My grandmother had kids up until she was 52 without any type of medication. Whether you both are prochoice or not there's a big differance when you end up in that situation.
Yes, it is possible for a 42 year old woman to get pregnant! It is not as likely as a 22 year old, but still possible, especially if you aren't using any kind of protection. You are 28, and that is old enough to realize your responsibility in this. This is your child, and every child deserves to have a father. Just because you don't marry the mother - and don't do it for the kid because then everyone would be miserable - doesn't mean you can't have a relationship with the child. Any woman your age who wants to get married and have children would be impressed by a man who takes responsibility for his kids, and if she loves kids, she will love yours too. On the other hand, if she finds out you have a kid that you have totally abandoned, that would be a red flag to her. I am only speaking on the fact that I am a 29 year old female, so I can relate to women your age. So, my advice is to support your girlfriend in this pregnancy and be a great father to your child. You can still have all the things you have dreamed about.
Things happen and we don't always have control over them. As for the age difference yes it may be a concern for some people but not all. You seem like a really good guy and have a good head on your shoulders to want to take responsibility.





It is possible for a 42 year old women to get pregnant without fertility. Most likely it is harder to get pregnant the older you get. But it is very possible to do so with out fertility treatment.





I know you are in a hard place and you seem lost. How long have you been with her? Do you think it is a relationship you would want to continue? You know you are the only one with these answers.





I understand that you might have wanted someone younger to start a family with its only natural but is it possible you see yourself being with this women?





I do not think marriage is ever the answer when a girl gets pregnant that is for only the couple to deceide not for the unborn baby. I can't tell you what to do. But I beleive if you want to continue the relationship then you will or if you want to end it you will. But atleast you will be in the childs life. That to me is the main thing. All relationships don't have a happy ending but we make the best out of what we have done. I am sorry if I am not any help but I am hear if you need to talk to someone.
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