I am really embarrassed even writing this, but I believe I am in an abusive relationship. I have been dating a guy for 6 months, we are both 28. I am educated and work as an elementary school teacher (I am so embarrassed). I think he has a drinking problem, he doesn't drink often, but when he does, he drinks to GET drunk. He won't drink unless he gets drunk. He is a completely different person when he has been drinking. Last night he got upset with me while we were in the car and he dropped me off on the side of the road and sped away. I wasn't far from his parents house, so I had to go there at 3 in the morning. I was very upset and they were very upset with him for putting me through this. Whenever we fight (only when he has been drinking) he cusses at me and threatens to end our relationship and says he is done and a lot of horrible things. When he isn't drinking, he is a wonderful person. The best guy in the world. I feel so stupid. I feel like one of those pathetic women who keep staying because they give him excuses. I went to his apartment today to get a few of my things (we don't live together, but I had some stuff over there) he wasn't there, but his roommate told me that I couldn't stay there. So obviously, he has told the roommate to tell me to get out of their apartment, which was even more degrading to me. His parents were disgusted by his behavior toward me. He hasn't called all day. When i try to call, his phone is off. I know what I need to do, but I'm having trouble. He just got laid off, he's an electrician and I feel that that is magnifying the situation and he is taking everything out on me. Please help me. I am smart, funny, and pretty. I have everything in the world going for me, but I feel so stupid and embarrassed. Please help.Abusive relationship. Need advice.?
Dear, first you need to stop saying that you are embarrassed and you are stupid. Such words don't actually complement a sweet girl like yourself. I can really understand what you are going through and i can't just feel sorry for you since there is a need for me to say something so that you can rub off those tears and lift yourself up.
You are in a relationship with this guy, which means you love him. With what you have written it seems that you care alot about him and whether or not some sort of sentiment, talk hurts me. It's very rare to see such genuine and purest form of concern while we are in a relationship. You mentioned that he's the best guy in this world for you most of the time unless he is drunk.
I don't believe in this thing. Yes, when a person is drunk he might loose control over himself and his action. But, why get drunk in the first place when he knows that he will hurt you by doing so? He gets drunk and he uses abusive language towards the girl he's in relationship with, that's really unfair dear. He lost his job, he has problems, every one of us does. But that doesnot particularly mean that he will shower all his angerness on you.
You went over to his apartment and he should not have said you to not stay there long. It's better that you enquire whether he said that or not in the first place. And his cell phone could be switched off because he's agitated at himself for misbehaving with you. I really don't know or can't figure out. I have never known you two people and so i don't know the way you react to different predicaments of life.
Don't feel pathetic, small or stupid. These kind of things keep hapening in our lives, so as to make us errect for a roller-coaster ride that is the future. The option is yours dear. If you think you love this guy and there's something about him that makes you believe in him like you would only in prayer, than try to control the situation. If he comes to you and apologizes, then talk over about this matter.
If he doesnot apologize and ill treats you once again, then maybe dear he is just not your mr. perfect and mr. right. Maybe you deserve so so much better. Hmm? Give a little bit time and space to things, they'll get sorted. And let nothing dim the light that shines within you. Whatever may happen, you are neither of the things that you had mentioned. Take care dear.Abusive relationship. Need advice.?
dump him.
answer mine http://ca.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Al9PL9Ym0ibds.6_rLnV_3_AFQx.;_ylv=3?qid=20090419101310AAKWD7o and
http://ca.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AtvgM7w5Ij9XQKXVEbff3dbAFQx.;_ylv=3?qid=20090418193513AAIXf8b
get him some help
your an elementary school teacher?One day you will be teaching them about abuse and how to report it,and your letting it happen to you.Its better that you leave,if he doesn't want to be helped that's his problem,if you force it on him it will fail.Be a good role model for the students and leave him,like i said one day you will have to discuss abuse with your students and you will be a good life story for them,if it happens to them one day,they can take what they learned from you and move on.You will find someone else that will treat you better,if you have good self esteem you would left him by now.
he shouldnt drink if he knows that when he does he is abusive towards you. i would break up with him because honestly six months isnt that long so yeah you should just break up with him. if you are a pretty smart and funny as you say then there is nothing to worry about. you wouldnt like to continue a relationship with a person like this what if after you get marry he get worst. its going to be harder to break up with him.
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