Spiritually speaking, would you like to give me some relationship advice?

You people have been here through my last two relationships, so you might as well stick around... :o)





Okay, most of you know my past. If you don't, email me and I'll give you the very quick summary. Anyway, suffice it to say I've been through a lot of really emotionally trying stuff this year and for the last few months, I've had a bit of a wall up when it comes to dating. I've dated a few people and didn't feel anything for any of them. I was starting to think that it would be best to wait awhile. I will say that during my single time (about six months now) I have grown into a more independent, secure person who cherishes her personal space and alone time. That was a major accomplishment for me because I left an abusive relationship a year ago feeling needy and dependent.





So I met a guy. On Craig's List. We've spent a considerable amount of time together at this point. I was surprised to find that I wasn't immediately trying to get rid of him, as I have with everyone else I've dated in recent months. This guy is, appearance-wise, what I prefer. Tall, teddybearish, strong, nice straight teeth and pretty eyes, etc.





But, he's pretty country, and even refers to himself as a redneck sometimes. He's not an intellectual kind of person--R%26amp;S would bore him to tears. However, he is an atheist, so at least we agree on that. His grammar is terrible, which irks me, since I'm a writer who majored in English. But he's very engaging, seems intelligent, tells me I'm sexy and beautiful constantly, and is starting to seem to really fall for me. I find myself smiling when he calls, and thinking about him when he's away. But I just don't know if I should let myself fall into this. Is it too soon? Is it for the wrong reasons? I'm so retarded when it comes to relationships.Spiritually speaking, would you like to give me some relationship advice?
Clearly you love the way he makes you feel about you, but you're not at all thrilled with who he is. Don't use him to make yourself feel good. You're not into him, don't lead him on.Spiritually speaking, would you like to give me some relationship advice?
I think that as long as he shares your personal values, that's all that matters! :)
Have you never been to Bakersfield or Chico? Cali definitely has rednecks.





Just don't settle for less than you want. you both deserve better than that.
GET BACK TO WHATEVER YOU WERE DOING BESIDES WORK LINZ!!!
moustache
It's about time.





Love and blessings Don
Slow and steady wins the race, Bub.
I think you two should enjoy each other for a while and just have fun. See others, but have a good time together. Be sure the two of you are on the same page about where the relationship is headed.
Baby, when I am confused I just follow what my libido tells me to do... you know.. that libido. Anyway, that's keeping it real simple so far as intellectual processes go and the top half can play catch up when it's ready.
Sounds like you may be getting wiser. Be cautious! Do not let yourself fall too much right now. Save something to hold on to to help pull yourself back up ( just in case). Meet in public places or out in the open. Hey, if that does not pan out for you I have just the right guy for you!! His initials are ';J.C.';
Take a deep breath and truly read what you have wrote. Next thing take a look at yourself. True look at who you are. Make notes. It won't all be pretty. Embrace the bad change it let it go. The good expound on it and make it grow. Right now the road you are on is to another heartbreak.


You took the time of 6 months and have done some incredible growth and are starting to find yourself. Funny thing universe has a sense of humor, it will send tests your way. What this is right now is testing your growth and giving you a situation to experince to find out what you truly care to have in your life. More of what you don't want experience I call it.


Loving yourself is one of the hardest things to learn to do, once you can love yourself and KNOW that you do deserve the best in life it will come. One thing to understand and learn to accept, we CREATE our experience.........there are no coincidences in life.





Take a step back and just look at your past experiences, embrace the expereince whether good or bad and learn from it and you will grow immensely. There are many good authors out there to help you learn more about how to create what you care to have in life. Secrets is a good bood and so are Neale Donald Walsh's books.


Good luck and


Blessed be
He may be pretty country -- but he's warm. Others might be urban with lots of sophistication; but if they're stonecold -- drop them! Fall for the heart; not for the brain. But it doesn't mean you don't have to use your brain. Women love some compliments; but don't overdo. Give yourself lots of time on this one: you must be close friends before you became what you think you should be. Appearance counts; but it's not all there is to a relationship. Find someone whom you're comfortable with.
Have you heard that opposites attract? It's weird, sometimes. My own husband is a Christian,is also a redneck country boy.It's funny, to see us together, one wouldn't think that were compatible in any way, but we are. Give love a chance, and don't call yourself retarded.





I reported truth be told for his rant
So, basically, this is the first good thing that's happened romance-wise since the self-protective walls went up, and you wonder if it's a good thing that you should trash because he's not perfect, and you're not perfect?





';I find myself smiling when he calls, and thinking about him when he's away. But I just don't know if I should let myself fall into this.';





You're in it.
Friendship is the basis of any good relationship, true love is not found in a resume of talents or abilities - it is found when two people find a part of themselves in each other. So what if he isn't perfect, NO ONE IS!





It sounds like you like him, stop judging him and just relax and enjoy things. If it works out then excellent, if not - you haven't lost a thing.
Relationship advice: toss out the word relationship. You have some relationship to everything in the universe. Relationship for couples has no fixed meaning. Here are the things you need to determine:


1) Can you trust him? If you don't have a sense of trust, everything is a waste of time.


2) Is he mutable. You are never going to like everything about anyone. If there is resistance to change and growth, things are unlikely to go anywhere.


3) Is he complementary to you. Part of any long term success is division of labor. Does he share your biggest flaws? If so, the two of you will have a shared vulnerability. Are the two of you likely to become co-dependent? That's a red flag. Shared interests are the basis for togetherness, but differences are the basis of dynamic growth.
First off, I think most (like 99.7%) people are retarded when it comes to relationships. It's very easy for us to help others in their relationships because we can judge from a removed position.





In this case, you should try to do that to yourself. Remove your history, and your feelings from the equation. At least your feelings about your history. Try to see the relationship as your best friend would see it. What would your best friend say about this behind your back? I know that sounds catty but the truth is, most best friends will support relationships or other ventures but then express their true feelings to others. They do this from a position of love because they just want you to be happy. So ask yourself, can you be happy with someone that is intelligent but not intellectual, shares your view in god, meets your physical checklist, pushes your ';grammar'; buttons, and comes from a different life?





With that answer in mind, you now have to ask yourself. Is this a ';snuggle season'; relationship. I live in Canada and in the winter, it's common for some people to have a short term winter romance. Mostly because it's cold and they don't want to be alone. I seem to remember you mentioning you live in California, so cold probably isn't an issue. However, with the season being about togetherness you also need to be aware of your feelings about that. These are the things I would ask my best friend if they came to me with this dilemma. Obviously, I don't know you at all, other than on here. I could be more specific and helpful if I knew you better.





That being said, I don't think you should worry about it being too soon. Love does not wear a watch.
Sweetheart,... you are too young to be trying to get into another serious relationship so soon.





Relax!





If it's meant to be, it will happen in due time! Don't rush it!!





Sly (((Linz)))
Sweetie, you have to take a chance sometimes and you are not afraid to take chances.





Can you get past the grammar? Try giving him a chance, his lack of grammar could make him endearing to you. If it really bothers you and all you want to do is correct him, that is not a good sign.





I know it is easier said than done, but hold on to your heart for a while longer. Like you said, it is a good sign that you are not wanting a way out. You like him enough to want to get to know him more.





Just hold on to your heart for a while longer. Have you met his friends? His family? How does he act around them? If he gets on your nerves now, it will only get worse.





Being alone is better than settling for someone who is not all you are looking for, no offense to him.
Sure, lose some weight and quit being a repulsive troll.