Hello, my name is Megan and I'm seeking relationship advice?

Hello, my name is Megan and I'm seeking relationship advice...


I'm sixteen, but I'm really hoping to find some unbiased serious advice despite my age.


I've never had a real boyfriend before, not for the usual reasons but because I honestly just didn't like anybody. No guy seemed worth anything, just the same old uninteresting people of middle and high school... I couldn't find anyone worth being interested in.


The first day of 2008 I went to a small party and I met this guy that I was actually interested in and to my surprise he was interested in me too! Needless to say we started dating the next day we saw each other. and for a while, maybe 6 months or so, everything was great. I was very happy.


Late July, term-oil started and I was having some troubles with myself... I've had anxiety issues, I was getting depressed. And things were very hard. I couldn't sleep at night and I was having very bizarre nightmares.


In August we broke up for 4 days and got back together... and he told me that he had kissed another girl a couple of months into the relationship after smoking weed with another girl after getting into a very small argument with me. The same girl whose party we met at, actually.


It's still hard to deal with sometimes.


We started fighting a lot more as time went on, and he broke up with me in late November to take a ';break';, to get some space, some breathing room.


That was very, very hard. But, in the time when he was getting his space, I sort of re-discovered the reliability of my closest friends. I'm very happy about that. What I did wrong is I put SO MUCH into him, that when he was gone I just felt like I didn't have anything.


In December, I tried my best to make the best out of things. Most of my best friends go to another high school and I couldn't go to my regular circle of friends because he was there. I hid out in bathrooms on bad days, spent my lunches in the yearbook room (I'm on the yearbook staff), I spent a lot of my December in the yearbook room. And the week before school broke into Winter Break, I was told that he was dating someone else.


This situation was a little complicated because of WHO this girl was, this particular girl who he started dating was a girl that he was actually going to date before he met me, and she is also not the brightest person to be nice. He was talking a lot of crap about her while dating me. I would've been devastated if it was anyone else, but since it was her, I was more just purely shocked. I figured it just showed the kind of character he'd become, to date someone you had said you hated just a couple of days before.


I bought some antidepressant after that to take the edge off of the school day. Not the most responsible thing to do, but by that time it had almost been a month, it was a week before Winter Break and a week before my birthday, I just wanted to feel okay again. I also took up smoking cigarettes on the worst days, but that was at most once a week. My grades slipped a little also because I'd ask for passes to the clinic saying I felt sick then spend a few minutes calming myself down in the bathroom before proceeding to the yearbook room.


Well, my friends made my birthday amazing and while we were at our neighborhood bowling alley he called me wanting to hang out with us, and me being amazed at his nerve told him he should probably spend time with his girlfriend but he said he didn't have a girlfriend, he had broken up with her.


Sorry to make this so long, long story short he magically appeared back, saying he was quitting smoking weed and how he really thought he made a terrible mistake.


After a couple of weeks, I've taken him back.


My family and friends weren't too happy, to be honest.


Well, me and him got into a car accident on the second this year and to make it short I came out very lucky, a big truck almost plowed into my side but he had accelerated just in time to prevent that. I only fractured a couple of ribs and after that experience, I believed I had a better perspective on things: I want to press on and not think about anything that happened last year and start over with him.


That feeling lasted a week... and now I'm so afraid about everything again. Checking my steps and second guessing everything... I'm very afraid of letting myself get hurt so badly again, wondering if he really has changed or if I'm just getting myself up for another let down.





I would like some guidance on what my next step should be. I feel so much at loss that it's overwhelming, and I don't want to spend another six months questioning everything. I just would like a little help... that is all I'm asking for.


Thank you for taking the time for reading this long thing... I'm sorry for making it so long, but I don't know how else to make someone else understand my predicament.Hello, my name is Megan and I'm seeking relationship advice?
First dont smoke or pop pills thats never the answer, and i think u should give him 1 more chance but no moreHello, my name is Megan and I'm seeking relationship advice?
I think you answered your question here in your story. (gosh, I can't believe I read all of it, but your grammar was good, so thanks for that.)





I can't really tell from the story, but I'm just going to assume that you love him. A LOT.





And if you both love each other, and have trust within each other, why don't you just ask him where your relationship is going?





If you don't actually plan on marrying the guy, then your relationship is going to end sooner or later whether you like it or not. And you will be in the ';almost'; same boat as you were in before.





But I really believe, that you should be talking to HIM about this. None of us on Yahoo Answers can really tell you what to do.





Let's see though... If I was in your shoes, here's what i would do:





Don't listen to the people around you so much, they don't know how strong your bond is with him. It only becomes a problem if he is interfering with your life in a negative way (grades slipping due to hanging out with him all the time and not doing homework). If that happens, you have to rethink some things. Some things that you do now will affect your future, and if he isn't contributing positively to that, then you really need to see if it's worth it.





If you love him that much, and plan on being with him for a long time, and are considering actually spending the rest of your life with him (I am in the same boat with you on this part). Then you really need to talk to him about these things first, before anything gets ';going';. He can say, and promise all he wants, but you're just going to have to put trust in him, and yourself. And if he breaks that trust again,





castrate him.





But seriously. After you have a good ';chat'; with him. Decide for yourself if you can let yourself trust him,





my boyfriend always says ';If you can walk 300 miles blindfolded with just my hand on your shoulder, we will work out.'; And really, a long term relationship is all about trust.





If you CAN trust him, then tell him that. Make sure he knows, that if he ever hurts you again, his balls will be fed to the dogs. And that you'll be seriously wounded.





Then, start things up from the beginning again. (Almost.) Don't start off where you left off, if you do that, you may miss something important about him that you missed the first time. It's like reassurance for yourself, ';yea, this is the man I fell in love with.';





Best of luck.
ok Megan i'm going to be unbiased because i believe girls are people too very cool people. Ok from what you have stated it seems like you found a crush..if this Guy is smoking pot he doesn't deserve you potheads should die. And the kissing another girl because he was high shouldn't be forgiven that's retarded show some self control. if he was really into you he wouldn't be an *** about stuff. You just need to be strong you can make it through it. the right guy will come along. if you want to talk to me about it email me=)
That's a very good question.


I say take it slow. Don't push yourself too hard for now, just do what you can.
If he has really changed then give him another chance.
Well at this point you cant do anything much but next time don';t let any guy do that you cant believe everything you here and when he asked you out again you should have said no because he's going to think he could just hurt you take you back as if he were pushing you down and then helping you up again knowing you would let him and don't screw


up your life because of a guy to me you sound like a girl who knows how to take control of your life and you cant let another guy make decisions for you a person isn't an accessory the they have a heart and have feelings I hate when people say every thing'suff thats not athat'syou want and don't set rules for yourself for a guy set goals for you want to see in him and if he doesn't reach those goals who cares but you'll now who your love is at the right time but sixteen isn't probabally the age for you but don't worry he'll come sooner or later Hope this helps.
I'm not so sure about this guy, if he's really stopped with the weed then maybe but once a cheater...


You can try to forget but the thought will probably always be there


One of my sisters dated a guy who got in a car accident and was pretty messed up in a sense because of it just to mention.


Don't ever let him change you and don't get down on yourself because of his mistake before.
sounds alot like me and my boyfriend...you have to ask yourself if your willing to take the risk and if he is really worth it
I read you're entire story so please be sure to answer my question =D





So anyways, I think this guy really deserves a chance from you. I dont think you need to worry about him giving up on you or anything or that you would lose a lot of stuff that you put into him because you should charish it all while it lasts. He quit weed, he broke up with his gf and he magically appears and comes back to you. I think you should definitely keep this guy and see where it goes.





http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Am3.L7A56uHspFaJZfKOeDHsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20090110193202AAoPA5X
he isn't worth it.


i'm sorry to say.


but GUYS ARE JERKS!


us girls give them the power to make, or break us. most of the time they break us. don't let him have so much of an impact on your life. you may love him.


but in my opinion, i think you're both in love with him.


did i help you?
Ok it took a while to read but anyway. It's natural to feel that way. When I like someone I feel depressed I don't want to know what it would be like to love someone but anyway look at the good things in life. Ignore the bad and hold on to the good. After a while you will feel better and it's after a while not instantanious. I looked at the bright side next thing I knew I was happy I gained confedence.
amg wow girl i think that now you need to take a break. look life is to short to be dealing with this and especially at your age holy crap if i were to get in an accident like that i would def. take a break and re thing everything you are doing with your life. number one don't do drugs that's so old and stupid and it might get things of your mind for that moment but once the high is gone your back to reality and sooner or later you have to face it... and your ';bf'; smoking weed hes not worth your time hes a looser for doing that. i know so many old men that are still pot heads and i just don't even respect them. just be with your friends and maybe by accident you will find someone worth your time and the less drama the better trust me on that one. and once a cheater always a cheater.
Hello Megan.
I have been through a similiar situation. If you want to start fresh,you need to leave the past behind you,because thats what starting fresh means. No matter what it takes. But just because he says he's 'clean' doesn't mean you can't trust your own instincts. I think it was pretty unreliable to leave you for a girl he said he hated,then got back together with you. I mean what could this guy have said about you when you weren't dating?But the decision is ultimately yours,and no yahoo answer can give you the right one,you'll know eventually what is best for you.
Honestly once a cheater always a cheater. I'm a guy and there are two types of guys the guys that will cheat and the guys that won't. He already cheated on you once so what is stopping him from doing it again. I know you probably won't listen to me because you love him. But there is a saying screw me once shame on you screw me twice shame on me. Just think about it.
First of all, try to avoid dating people who do drugs, because that's just a sad road to go down sometimes. I should know, I've done that before, and frankly it doesn't work out, plus there's a lot of paranoia about the ';this is illegal'; issue. One of my friends married a man who smokes weed, they've got a lot of troubles with the cops.


Secondly, you're a strong woman, you don't have to tolerate anything you don't want to. If he cheats, chances are he'll do it again, and you don't have to tolerate that.


And thirdly, don't get in a hurry to find Mr. Right, because it's kind of fun to go out there and see what all there is. Don't waste time settling for something that makes you unhappy.
i really feel for you sweetie. it must have been really hard, i cant even imagine what you went through... I think you should have a serious talk with him and let him know how you feel.





I wish you the best of luck with whatever happens
please shorten this if you want anyone to really answer it. once i have to start scrolling down, i'm totally not gonna bother reading it. sorry for my misfortune on reading laziness.
you seem really stressed out, and its okay. Dont fret about the long thing chances are that jack asses who make rude comments on this page will look at your message and go onto an easier one.





erm. about your bf.. sometimes the only way to make guys change is to give them up! Maybe for a while, maybe for good. It is very hard but beneficial for both of you. Marajuanna is illegal. A man should be responsible. You want him to be accountable. He seems really immature. I would give him distance. You just broke your ribs for crying out loud. Tell him you wont take him back until you know he is serious! i dont like him and you have descibed him in detail. Tell him it is too soon.





If life gets rough, start working! You are 16 so you are in hs! apply to scholarships for college NOW. sign up for a fast web account, get books that list annual scholaships : ';The Scholarship Scouting Report'; byBen Kaplan. YOU CAN GO TO COLLEGE FOR FREE. look to the future. take every opportunity %26amp; work hard and i promise you forget this mess ur in. Do everything to make your life the best so you will never have to say you sat back on the sidelines and watched it go by.





good luck baby, God Bless you :)





* also apply to college early....